The Blind Vampire Hunter Read Online Free

price: a little bite on
the neck. Hell, I don’t know what’s more exciting, her blow-job or
her bite on the neck. Charlie swears he always comes twice- and it
costs no money!”
    * * * *
    Meanwhile in back in Maryland...
    When I was a child, my parents forced me to
“go out and get fresh air.” Instead of fighting to keep my bike
from being stolen or dodging eggs thrown at me, I found an
alternative to the tortures of my peers. Fortunately for me, next
to our housing development there was a wooded area that was
supposedly inhabited by the cannibalism madman called the “Rabbit
Man.” He was called this because his whole attire consisted of a
pair of rabbit ears taken from one of the rabbits he had eaten for
his dinner. He used a large bloody axe, and he always carried it
with him. Oh, yes, word was that he ate kids stupid enough to enter
his domain. Or desperate enough?
    I spent a lot of my time in those woods. At
first I was very cautious of every sound that might mean the Rabbit
Man was near...
    Of course, I never met up with the “Rabbit
Man.” When I was old enough I went from messing about in the woods
to the honorable Boy Scouts. Think I made friends within such an
honorable, highly moral institute as the Boy Scouts? Think
again.
    My patrol leader [scout assigned by the Boy
Scout troop leader to be in charge of a subgroup within the troop]
loved to give me every dirty duty possible, and if it was not dirty
enough he would find a way to make it dirtier for the pleasure of
all the others. In short, even within the Boy Scouts, I was a
four-eyed retarded freak because of my low-vision. When I was old
enough to progress from the Boy Scouts to the Explorers, I had no
intentions of progressing on. My father and the Scoutmaster never
could understand why I did not move on to the fun and adventures of
The Explorers. It couldn’t be because those boys that tormented me
within my Boy Scout Troop were waiting for me in the Explorers,
with girls to embarrass and harass me in front of no less as the
Explorers was uni-sexed. Interestingly, I was not allowed to
progress within the Boy Scouts because even though I was
night-blind and could not see stars, my Scoutmaster was not
familiar with night blindness and refused to believe it. Meanwhile,
on outings, his boys loved stealing my flashlight so they could
watch me stumble around blindly in the dark.
    I do recall one time when their folly of
stealing my flashlight backfired on them. It was during a 50-mile
hiking trip. It was such a great night that most of us guys figured
it would be nicer and easier not to bother pitching tents. There
was one exception; twin brothers, tenderfoots, on their first
hiking trip. All day the guys had been teasing the twins to look
out for bears, so when it came time to sack out for the night these
two brainiacs thought they’d be smart and pitch a pup tent.
    [Pup tent: Tie a rope between two trees,
throw the tent canvas over the rope and secure the sides.]
    The brainiacs then placed a number of rocks
at both ends of the tent opening so if a bear stumbled into one
side of the tent, the twins could escape from becoming the bear’s
dinner by exiting through the other side of the tent.
    Of course, after bedding down for the night,
I got the call of nature. Rooting around in my backpack, I
discovered that, despite packing my flashlight at the bottom, it
was gone, again. Looking around, I took notice that the Scoutmaster
and the volunteer fathers were still yawning around their campfire,
and I figured to use their fire to mark my way out to pee and
return. After finding a nice large tree to go behind, I took care
of my business. When I circled the tree to get back to my sleeping
bag, I discovered that the men had sacked out for the night,
putting out their campfire. I was lost.
    Trying to remember my way back to my sleeping
bag I found instead, yes, I found the twin’s fortifications by
falling over their stone guards. The twins, figuring I was a