The Blind Vampire Hunter Read Online Free Page A

big,
old hungry bear looking to eat them, ripped out the other end,
yelling, “BEAR! A BEAR IS IN OUR TENT! HEELLP!” This, of course,
woke everyone up, and I had lots and lots of flashlight beams to
help me back to my sleeping bag.
    It was during this time in my life that I
made a new friend, the son of a new friend of my father, who
introduced me to a fascinating magazine called, FAMOUS MONSTERS
of FILMLAND . From the first time I eyeballed it, I instantly
became a horror fan. Also during this time, my parents were having
trouble finding sitters who could referee my sister and I, as we
tended to fight like cats and dogs–no, really, I barked a lot at my
sister, who liked to scratch at me a lot–and on and on it went. My
parents found a high school sucker, Nancy. When she learned about
my interest in monsters, she made a deal with me. If I did not kill
or even try to kill my sister, I got to stay up past my bedtime and
watch Creature Feature on TV with her.
    For the first few times before Count Gore
DeVol started to host the night’s Creature Feature, Nancy made a
point of telling me, “Now remember, what you see is only
make-believe, there is nothing really scary about these movies.
Certainly nothing that can hurt you.”
    I took her instruction so much to heart that
years later while sneaking off to view Hammer Horror movies with
two of my buds, as they totally freaked out during the movies, I,
Mr. Cool, would prevail. Nothing scares the Man .
    Who could not watch those great Hammer Horror
movies and not become a great fan of Vampires? From Christopher
Lee’s Dracula to all those sexy female Vamps.
    One more note on my sister. Even though we
fought like cats and dogs when we were younger, when we matured, we
developed a pact. If some girl gave my sister a hard time it was
her problem; if some guy gave her a hard time, it was my problem.
My sister’s first job was at our local Roy Rogers Restaurant. There
was a young man who liked to talk dirty to the girls, this included
my sister. When she told me how upsetting it was, I visited this
Roy Rogers, and I made a point of arriving when they were not busy.
When I walked in, I looked around. The place wasn’t quiet, it was
dead. The only people I could find were two serving girls standing
behind the counter, eagerly waiting for me to walk the snake and
upon arriving in front of the register, give my order. Instead, I
walked around to the side of the snake, came up beside the register
and asked one of the serving girls to ask “Charlie” to come out to
see me. She complied by disappearing into the back. The girl
returned from the back and told me, “Charlie says he’s too busy
right now.”
    Loudly, I proclaimed, “Well, tell Charlie that if he does not get his ass out here right now I
will go back there to see him, and he will not be happy.”
    No sooner than that was said then some big
guy was standing behind the counter-girl apologizing profusely. I
can’t imagine Charlie knew what he was apologizing for, but he was
very enthusiastically doing so.
    Finding ourselves between the end of the
front counter and right next to some bar seats where a diner could
sit and look out into the parking lot, I introduced myself as
Erica’s brother and invited him to be seated; he sat. Taking the
bar stool next to him I began giving him a verbal lesson in manners
his parents should have given him, on how men should treat women as
ladies. I’m not saying women are second-rate citizens, I just
believe woman should be treated like ladies not like hookers. He
seemed to hang on every word. I finished my lecture by saying, “If
my sister should tell me you require a second, more physical lesson
on the subject, I will be back.”
    At this point, I noticed that the two serving
girls where wiping down the cash register so as to be in easy
eavesdropping distance, so I added, a little louder for their
benefit, “In fact, if my sister tells me you’re still having
trouble behaving