The Balkanization of America Read Online Free
Author: Ira Tabankin
who pulled the trigger.”
“General, I hoped God would intercede. I had hoped…”
“Glen, either grow up or take me off your speed dial list. You made the entire situation much worse than it already was. “Hands-around-DC” what were you thinking? Why didn’t you vet your idea over here? In the future, call, vet your ideas first, we might be able to save some lives.”
“General, I’d hoped the press would see their savior as he really is.”
“Glen, I understand, but did you think the press would report anything negative about the President? They helped get him elected; they’ve covered up every negative story about him and his criminal administration. The press covered up his past; they never vetted him. Do me a favor, don’t do anything like that again.”
“General, I had such hope…”
“Glen, we in the military have a saying, “Hope isn’t a strategy.” Keep that in mind, always have a plan, always have a backup plan and always have a backup to the backup, because every plan turns to crap when the enemy in engaged. Leave the strategy planning to professionals. Next time you get a brain fart, call before you announce it.”
@@@@@
The next morning a nationally famous reporter stops on his way to work to pick up his morning coffee and bagel. He slides his credit card through the payment machine; his card is rejected. The reporter asks, “Is the machine broken?”
The cashier responds, “No it worked fine for the last customer.”
The reporter tries another card; it too is rejected. People behind him are starting to get restless, he tries his debit card, and it too is rejected. The reporter says, “Something is wrong with the payment machine.”
A woman pushes the reporter out of the way; she slides her credit card through, it’s accepted, she turns to the reporter saying; “The machine works, you’re just a deadbeat. Get a job, here’s a five to buy your lunch, you may need it today.” She walks out of the coffee shop smiling, knowing she’s performed her good deed of the day.
Five reporters and ninety-five other people discover all of their credit and debit cards are rejected; one can’t pay for the gas they’ve pumped, the station manager calls the police when he drives off without paying. The police catch and pull the thief over.
“License and registration, please. I’m stopping you because you purchased gas and left without paying that’s a misdemeanor in this state.”
“Officer, I can explain, my credit card didn’t work, I was going to return to pay for the gas.”
“I’m going to check your story out, just sit here and keep your hands on the steering wheel. “
Trying to leave the car, the reporter says, “Officer, I can explain.”
“I told you to stay in your car and keep your hands on the steering wheel where I can see them.”
“Officer, do you know who I am?”
“No, but I’m about to.”
Returning to his police cruiser, the officer enters the reporter’s driver’s license number into his laptop. His screen flashes red with a rolling banner saying, “DOMESTIC TERRORIST approach with caution. Call for backup, code three.” The officer looks at the car in front of him, thinking, I earned a bonus today. He calls for backup, which arrives within three minutes. Two additional police cars arrive with their lights flashing and sirens screaming; the new police cars block the reporter’s car from being able to move. The officers exit their cars with their weapons drawn; they open the reporter’s car door and drag him out of his car. They force him to the ground, all while he’s screaming at them. They handcuff the reporter, one officer waits with the reporter’s car for the tow truck. They plan to take the car apart to make sure there’s nothing hidden in it. The other two officers take the reporter to their station to be booked. Later that day, their chief will make the
“General, I hoped God would intercede. I had hoped…”
“Glen, either grow up or take me off your speed dial list. You made the entire situation much worse than it already was. “Hands-around-DC” what were you thinking? Why didn’t you vet your idea over here? In the future, call, vet your ideas first, we might be able to save some lives.”
“General, I’d hoped the press would see their savior as he really is.”
“Glen, I understand, but did you think the press would report anything negative about the President? They helped get him elected; they’ve covered up every negative story about him and his criminal administration. The press covered up his past; they never vetted him. Do me a favor, don’t do anything like that again.”
“General, I had such hope…”
“Glen, we in the military have a saying, “Hope isn’t a strategy.” Keep that in mind, always have a plan, always have a backup plan and always have a backup to the backup, because every plan turns to crap when the enemy in engaged. Leave the strategy planning to professionals. Next time you get a brain fart, call before you announce it.”
@@@@@
The next morning a nationally famous reporter stops on his way to work to pick up his morning coffee and bagel. He slides his credit card through the payment machine; his card is rejected. The reporter asks, “Is the machine broken?”
The cashier responds, “No it worked fine for the last customer.”
The reporter tries another card; it too is rejected. People behind him are starting to get restless, he tries his debit card, and it too is rejected. The reporter says, “Something is wrong with the payment machine.”
A woman pushes the reporter out of the way; she slides her credit card through, it’s accepted, she turns to the reporter saying; “The machine works, you’re just a deadbeat. Get a job, here’s a five to buy your lunch, you may need it today.” She walks out of the coffee shop smiling, knowing she’s performed her good deed of the day.
Five reporters and ninety-five other people discover all of their credit and debit cards are rejected; one can’t pay for the gas they’ve pumped, the station manager calls the police when he drives off without paying. The police catch and pull the thief over.
“License and registration, please. I’m stopping you because you purchased gas and left without paying that’s a misdemeanor in this state.”
“Officer, I can explain, my credit card didn’t work, I was going to return to pay for the gas.”
“I’m going to check your story out, just sit here and keep your hands on the steering wheel. “
Trying to leave the car, the reporter says, “Officer, I can explain.”
“I told you to stay in your car and keep your hands on the steering wheel where I can see them.”
“Officer, do you know who I am?”
“No, but I’m about to.”
Returning to his police cruiser, the officer enters the reporter’s driver’s license number into his laptop. His screen flashes red with a rolling banner saying, “DOMESTIC TERRORIST approach with caution. Call for backup, code three.” The officer looks at the car in front of him, thinking, I earned a bonus today. He calls for backup, which arrives within three minutes. Two additional police cars arrive with their lights flashing and sirens screaming; the new police cars block the reporter’s car from being able to move. The officers exit their cars with their weapons drawn; they open the reporter’s car door and drag him out of his car. They force him to the ground, all while he’s screaming at them. They handcuff the reporter, one officer waits with the reporter’s car for the tow truck. They plan to take the car apart to make sure there’s nothing hidden in it. The other two officers take the reporter to their station to be booked. Later that day, their chief will make the
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