Teacher: The Final Act (A Hollywood Rock n' Romance Trilogy #3) Read Online Free
Author: R. L. Merrill
of control I feel. I’m afraid of you leaving. I’m afraid of losing the best friend I’ve ever had. You. Before the wedding I thought I could read you, thought I had a handle on my feelings for you. Now...”
Oh, God. This was scaring the crap out of me. I wanted him to stop talking. I was petrified of what else he might say. I felt like we were standing on the edge of a cliff, and the rocks were slipping away.
“Now?” Please don’t let him say it’s over , was all I could think. “What’s changed for you, Danny?” I was shaking. I was so scared. Obviously all the talking we’d done this week had unsettled him more than anything.
His expression was all over the place. “Everything just feels so much more real. And fragile. My feelings have changed only in that I love you even more, and I need you even more, and I got a taste of what it would feel like to lose it all. I don’t think I would survive that. So part of me wonders if I shouldn’t just let you go so I never have to worry.”
My heart stopped. This was it. I’d heard people describe the feeling of a broken heart before. I thought I knew how it would feel from the previous times he’d pushed me away. But there was no describing this fear, this pain. If he said it was over, I thought it would end me.
Scrounging up the last ounce of courage I had, I asked, “So what are you going to do about that part?”
He cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to tell it to shut the fuck up because there’s no way I ever want to live without you. No safe route will ever compare to how whole I feel with you. But I’m so scared you’re going to tell me to fuck off. I can’t take not knowing anymore, Jesse. Can we fix this? Please? I love you so fucking much! I can’t take it anymore, not knowing.”
When I could convince my lungs to function again and when I could force myself to take in a breath, I slowly stepped across the space between us. I lifted Danny’s left wrist, the one still thankfully wearing the cuff I’d given him. I lifted it up so the heart was facing him and I held it up in front of him.
“The only thing that has changed for me is the determination to love you even more, to fight for us even more, and to do whatever it takes for us to get past this. I can’t stand this space between us either, Danny. You’re my lover, my best friend, and you hold my soul in your hands. Please, don’t be afraid. Come back to me.” The last words were barely above a whisper.
“I want to,” he said, shaking his head. “But I know there’s going to be more drama. I wish I could say there won’t be, but Brooke’s shit isn’t going to go away just because she’s in New York and marrying this dude. And neither is Grace Manning, although I think she’ll be singing a different tune now that she’s seen Brooke at her worst. I guess what I’m trying to say is I wish I could shield you from the ugly parts of my life, but I won’t always be able to.” He swallowed hard and took my hands in his. “Knowing all that, do you still want to be with me, Jesse?”
I answered him without hesitation.
“For as long as you’ll have me, Danny, and I sure as hell hope that’s for good.”
He squeezed my hands in his and pressed his forehead against mine. “God, I want that. I want you! I’ve been so afraid to ask you because I thought you’d say no.” His hands came up to cradle my face. “So you promise me that we’ll deal with this? Together? No running away?”
I nodded and lifted my chin. “No running away. We’re in this, for better or worse.”
His lips curled up on the sides. “That sounds a little like a vow,” he said, playfully, while dropping kisses on my bottom lip and jaw.
I smiled up at him, raising an eyebrow. “It does, doesn’t it?”
He leaned back so he could look deeply into my eyes. “I’m going to fucking marry you, Jesse. I swear it. I hope you’re ready for it when the time comes.”
I
Oh, God. This was scaring the crap out of me. I wanted him to stop talking. I was petrified of what else he might say. I felt like we were standing on the edge of a cliff, and the rocks were slipping away.
“Now?” Please don’t let him say it’s over , was all I could think. “What’s changed for you, Danny?” I was shaking. I was so scared. Obviously all the talking we’d done this week had unsettled him more than anything.
His expression was all over the place. “Everything just feels so much more real. And fragile. My feelings have changed only in that I love you even more, and I need you even more, and I got a taste of what it would feel like to lose it all. I don’t think I would survive that. So part of me wonders if I shouldn’t just let you go so I never have to worry.”
My heart stopped. This was it. I’d heard people describe the feeling of a broken heart before. I thought I knew how it would feel from the previous times he’d pushed me away. But there was no describing this fear, this pain. If he said it was over, I thought it would end me.
Scrounging up the last ounce of courage I had, I asked, “So what are you going to do about that part?”
He cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to tell it to shut the fuck up because there’s no way I ever want to live without you. No safe route will ever compare to how whole I feel with you. But I’m so scared you’re going to tell me to fuck off. I can’t take not knowing anymore, Jesse. Can we fix this? Please? I love you so fucking much! I can’t take it anymore, not knowing.”
When I could convince my lungs to function again and when I could force myself to take in a breath, I slowly stepped across the space between us. I lifted Danny’s left wrist, the one still thankfully wearing the cuff I’d given him. I lifted it up so the heart was facing him and I held it up in front of him.
“The only thing that has changed for me is the determination to love you even more, to fight for us even more, and to do whatever it takes for us to get past this. I can’t stand this space between us either, Danny. You’re my lover, my best friend, and you hold my soul in your hands. Please, don’t be afraid. Come back to me.” The last words were barely above a whisper.
“I want to,” he said, shaking his head. “But I know there’s going to be more drama. I wish I could say there won’t be, but Brooke’s shit isn’t going to go away just because she’s in New York and marrying this dude. And neither is Grace Manning, although I think she’ll be singing a different tune now that she’s seen Brooke at her worst. I guess what I’m trying to say is I wish I could shield you from the ugly parts of my life, but I won’t always be able to.” He swallowed hard and took my hands in his. “Knowing all that, do you still want to be with me, Jesse?”
I answered him without hesitation.
“For as long as you’ll have me, Danny, and I sure as hell hope that’s for good.”
He squeezed my hands in his and pressed his forehead against mine. “God, I want that. I want you! I’ve been so afraid to ask you because I thought you’d say no.” His hands came up to cradle my face. “So you promise me that we’ll deal with this? Together? No running away?”
I nodded and lifted my chin. “No running away. We’re in this, for better or worse.”
His lips curled up on the sides. “That sounds a little like a vow,” he said, playfully, while dropping kisses on my bottom lip and jaw.
I smiled up at him, raising an eyebrow. “It does, doesn’t it?”
He leaned back so he could look deeply into my eyes. “I’m going to fucking marry you, Jesse. I swear it. I hope you’re ready for it when the time comes.”
I
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