TakeItOff Read Online Free Page A

is screwing the dog. Then the cat. The farmer
finds himself repeating the same warning over and over, “Damn rooster! You’re
gonna screw yourself to death!” One day the farmer is on his way to the barn
when he sees the rooster lying on its back, not moving and its tongue hanging
out. Farmer says, “I told you, you damn rooster! You were gonna screw yourself
to death!”
    Just then, the rooster opens one eye, looks at the farmer
and says, “Shhhhhhhh! Buzzard!” The horny-all-the-time guy is much like the
rooster in this joke. He will sleep with any woman who will have him. He just
loves women! He will go from hottie to nottie. You have your drug addicts, and
his drug is sex.
    Big Cowboy : Ever heard of the stereotype if he has
big hands, he has a big penis? Well, this guy would disprove all of those
rumors. He was a boxer with huge hands. He would walk up to a new guy and
demand to see his cock. When the guy would refuse, he’d ask again but meaner.
Then he would say, “Your cock is teeeeeeeenie!” The funny part was that he had
the smallest penis in the dressing room. How did I know? He would pull it out
to show that he didn’t care. I swear he was on a mission to find a penis
smaller than his. The amazing thing was that he got more tail than anyone there
at the time. That was just one big cowboy, though. Usually, the cowboy is one
of the top dogs on stage and a gentle giant…unless you piss him off!
    Emotional Guy : Girlfriend problems make his tear
ducts fill up. Or maybe he is upset by some rude remark a girl made. Maybe it’s
just that time of month for him. You know, time to cleanse the system and have a
good cry. Some guys really do have frequent breakdowns in the dressing room,
and they will bawl like a five-year-old, even threatening suicide. It’s always
an attention ploy because out of all the deaths we saw, none was a suicide. It
becomes very annoying listening to his problems and whining. However, he is
usually able to use this as a money maker. “Oh I love him because he’s so
sensitive!” is what the girls will say.
    Druggies : They come and go often, live a gypsy
lifestyle and are usually about five to ten years past their prime, with a past
that is longer than their future. These guys are often the ones who were
naturally gifted with beauty and used that fact to skate through life.
    Smart Ones : These guys have college degrees and ways
of making money other than dancing. They know that dancing for extra cash and
not for their careers is the best way to stay ahead. These guys have various
businesses now and have become successful, often earning six-figure incomes and
being their own boss.
    I ’m-Too-Sexy-to-Work-Out Guy : This guy usually
is too full of himself. Probably started dancing at a young age and his career
took off with a bang. He didn’t have to work out to look good or work too hard
to get attention, so he never developed good habits. Now that he is in his
early thirties, he is out of shape but thinks he can still do it without
working out. He can’t figure out why he doesn’t make as much money as he used
to.
    The Nice and Innocent Guy : Yes, he does exist.
Everyone likes him and he is always in a relationship.
    Overly Confident, Cheesy Pick-up Line Guy : For some
reason, it actually works, though. Why do women fall for his cheesy crap?
    Mr. Money Balls : Some guys actually will bring dollar
bills to work and put them in their money roll to make it seem as if they are
making a killing. One guy had us fooled for years into thinking he was making a
lot. After a night he went onstage and there wasn’t one girl in the club, we
realized it was an illusion, as he walked offstage with a huge wad of dollar
bills in his underwear. The other dancers quickly called him out about it.
    Hustler : He’s a smooth talker and he doesn’t take no
for an answer. He can talk an Eskimo into buying ice cubes. The hustler is a
cutthroat dancer and he would sell his own mother to make a quick buck.