92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Read Online Free

heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze.” It’s the ideal image for somebody who’s a Somebody.
    How to Look Like a Somebody
    My friend Karen is a highly respected professional in the homefurnishings business. Her husband is an equally big name in the communications field. They have two small sons.
    Whenever Karen is at a home-furnishings industry event, everyone pays deference to her. She’s a very important person in that world. Her colleagues at conventions jostle for position just to be seen casually chatting with her and, they hope, be photographed rubbing elbows with her for industry bibles like Home Furnishings Executive and Furniture World . Yet, Karen complains, when she accompanies her husband to communications functions, she might as well be a nobody. When she takes her kids to school functions, she’s just another mom. She once asked me, “Leil, how can I stand out from the crowd so people who don’t know me will approach me and at least assume I’m an interesting person?” The techniques in this section accomplish precisely that. When you use the next nine techniques, you will come across as a special person to everyone you meet. You will stand out as a Somebody in whatever crowd you find yourself in, even if it’s not your crowd.
    Let’s start with your smile.
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    ✰ 1 How to Make Your
    Smile Magically
    Different
    In 1936, one of Dale Carnegie’s six musts in How to Win Friends and Influence People was SMILE! His edict has been echoed each decade by practically every communications guru who ever put pen to paper or mouth to microphone. However, at the turn of the millennium, it’s high time we reexamine the role of the smile in high-level human relations. When you dig deeper into Dale’s dictum, you’ll find a 1936 quick smile doesn’t always work. Especially nowadays. The old-fashioned instant grin carries no weight with today’s sophisticated crowd. Look at world leaders, negotiators, and corporate giants. Not a smiling sycophant among them. Key players in all walks of life enrich their smile so, when it does erupt, it has more potency and the world smiles with them.
    Researchers have catalogued dozens of different types of smiles. They range from the tight rubber band of a trapped liar to the soft squishy smile of a tickled infant. Some smiles are warm while others are cold. There are real smiles and fake smiles. (You’ve seen plenty of those plastered on the faces of friends who say they’re
    “delighted you decided to drop by,” and presidential candidates visiting your city who say they’re “thrilled to be in, uh . . . uh. . . .”) 5
    Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use. 01 (001-042B) part one 8/14/03 9:16 AM Page 6
    6
    How to Talk to Anyone
    Big winners know their smile is one of their most powerful weapons, so they’ve fine-tuned it for maximum impact.
    How to Fine-Tune Your Smile
    Just last year, my old college friend Missy took over her family business, a Midwestern company supplying corrugated boxes to manufacturers. One day she called saying she was coming to New York to court new clients and she invited me to dinner with several of her prospects. I was looking forward to once again seeing my friend’s quicksilver smile and hearing her contagious laugh. Missy was an incurable giggler, and that was part of her charm. When her Dad passed away last year, she told me she was taking over the business. I thought Missy’s personality was a little bubbly to be a CEO in a tough business. But, hey, what do I know about the corrugated box biz?
    She, three of her potential clients, and I met in the cocktail lounge of a midtown restaurant and, as we led them into the dining room, Missy whispered in my ear, “Please call me Melissa tonight.”
    “Of course,” I winked back, “not many company presidents are called Missy!” Soon after the maître d’ seated us, I began noticing Melissa was a very