Stuck with a Spell Read Online Free Page B

first, then we’ll
talk to, I mean about, your plants,” I offered, really worried that
none of this mess seemed to be affecting Liza in the horrid way it
was me.
    And just wait till I tried to explain
this to Nicky and all of our guests. That thought gave me a
splitting headache along with my queasy stomach.
    My cell phone rang, so I excused myself
for a moment to check the screen, hoping like hell it wasn’t the
hospital telling me that Hank had bit the big one. I’d promised
myself I’d someday be the cause of that, and I’d be damned if I was
gonna let Liza steal my moment. Just joking...sort of.
    Speaking of the devil, and no, not
Hank, this time. It was Nicky calling.
    “ What the hell is going on
over there?!”
    Nicky shouting in my ears was not
helping matters at all.
    Before my head spun out of control, I
motioned to Liza that I’d be stepping outside a moment. I needed to
get some fresh air as well as be out of her earshot so I could clue
in Nicky. She seemed as relieved as I was to take a break from our
conversation and left me to my call as she disappeared into the
kitchen with our tea cups and saucers.
    “ We’ve got some big-time
Voodoo doll hell. That’s what’s going on! And do you have to scream
at me?” I asked, holding my head in my hands, while my teeth
started to chatter.
    “ Sorry. But, you mean to
tell me that’s all the further you’ve gotten? We already know we’ve
got doll hell. I’m sitting here looking at their charred
remains.”
    “ Put those things down,” I
said, totally unsure whether or not he should be touching
them.
    “ Whatever you say. There.
Just tossed ‘em in the trash can.”
    Shit. I hope that didn’t
mean Darryl or Hank had just taken a nasty tumble too. Thinking
about the possibilities that they’d each just sustained new
contusions, I shook in my snow-covered rocking chair. Brrr . Also, I’d forgotten
to put on my coat before coming out onto Liza’s porch. But maybe
the ice cold chill is what I needed to make sense of all
this.
    “ Those dolls were supposed
to be Liza’s ex...and my ex.”
    “ Whoa! No way! She roped you
into her crazy ass spell casting too? I thought you were smarter
than that, Sam.”
    I swore I heard the son of a bitch
laughing. If my teeth weren’t chattering so bad, I’d have let him
have it.
    “ Listen, asshole. Darryl and
Hank are now both in hospitals. Darryl was damn near decapitated,
and Hank just about choked to death.”
    “ Oh. That’s not
good.”
    “ Oh. You’re right.
It’s not good. And
aren’t I lucky that that’s about the limit of your
intelligence.”
    “ Ouch! Don’t bite my head
off. It’s not my fault both of your exes about lost theirs,” he
said.
    And damn it if he didn’t start laughing
again.
    “ I’ll tell ya who’s gonna be
next, smart ass. Did I happen to mention that she has a doll in her
collection that looks an awful lot like you?”
    That shut him up.
    “ I kinda figured she would,”
he said in his best awe shucks, golly gee tone.
    “ Listen to me. You’ve got to
find out everything you can about reversing her spells, while I
stay here and try to figure out if she has even the slightest clue
how to fix things.”
    “ How the hell am I supposed
to do that?”
    “ Just Google it for cripe’s
sake. Use your head.”
    “ Right. Before she
does...”
    “ Would you stop it with the
head jokes? Damn it! This is serious stuff.”
    “ No worries, Allwitch. I’m
on it.”
    If he wasn’t careful, I’d be the one
taking his Voodoo doll likeness out of the case and using
it.

CHAPTER EIGHT
     
    T he
thought occurred to me that I could make a nice living writing
about Aunt Liza’s stupid-ass stunts. I wouldn’t have to use any
creativity. You can’t make this shit up.
    For instance, I’m now taking a huge
stock pot I normally use to concoct my famous chili - because, no,
I don’t own a cauldron, and I’m not about to ask Liza to borrow
hers - and using it instead to whip up some