The Trial of Elizabeth Cree Read Online Free

pasted to the walls.
    Her mother was given a pauper’s funeral two days later, and the night after the burial Elizabeth returned to the theater in Craven Street where she heard Dan Leno sing one of those dittieswhich led to his being known as “The Funniest Man on Earth”:
    I really think Jim’s very partial to me
,
    Though never a word has he said
.
    But this moment I passed where he’s building a house
,
    And he threw half a brick at my head
.

SIX
    D an Leno was widely believed to be the funniest man of that, or any, age but the best description of him is probably Max Beerbohm’s in the
Saturday Review
: “I defy anyone not to have loved Dan Leno at first sight. The moment he capered on, with that air of wild determination, squirming in every limb with some deep grievance that must be outpoured, all hearts were his … that poor little battered personage, so put upon, yet so plucky, with his squeaky voice and his sweeping gestures, bent but not broken, faint but pursuing, incarnate of the will to live in a world not at all worth living in …”
    He was born at Number 4, Eve Court, in a neighborhood beside the old church of St. Pancras before the Midland Railway Company erected its station there—the day of his birth, the 20th December, 1850, was also, curiously enough, that of Elizabeth Cree. His parents were already “theatricals” and toured the music halls and variety saloons as “Mr. and Mrs. Johnny Wilde, the Singing and Acting Duettists” (Dan Leno’s real name was actually George Galvin but he quickly discarded it, just as Elizabeth Cree was never known to use her mother’s surname). Their son first appeared on the stage at the age of four, at the Cosmotheka Music Hall in Paddington, wearing an outfit which his mother had manufactured from the silk of an old carriage umbrella. He was billed as a “contortionist and posturer” at this early point in his career—he did indeed perform some very neat turns and tricks, perhaps the most remarkable being his impression of a corkscrew opening a wine bottle. At the age of eight he wasbilled as “The Great Little Leno” (all his life he remained of very small stature) and then a year later he became known as “Great Little Leno, the Quintessence of Cockney Comedians” or, on occasions, “Descriptive and Cockney Character Vocalist.” By the autumn of 1864, when Elizabeth first saw him, he had already developed that humor for which he was to become truly famous. Yet how was it that, less than twenty years later, Dan Leno was suspected by the police officers of the Limehouse Division of being the murderous Limehouse Golem?

SEVEN
    These extracts are taken from the diary of Mr. John Cree of New Cross Villas, South London, now preserved in the Manuscript Department of the British Museum, with the call mark Add. Ms. 1624/566
.
    S EPTEMBER 6, 1880: It was a fine bright morning, and I could feel a murder coming on. I had to put out that fire, so I took a cab to Aldgate and then walked down Whitechapel way. I may say that I was eager to begin, because I had in mind a novelty for the first time: to suck out the breath of a dying child, and see if all its youthful spirit mingled with mine. Oh, in that case, I might go on forever! But why do I say child, when I mean any life? Look, I am trembling again.
    I had thought to see more people around Gammon Square, but in these poor lodging houses they are glad to sleep all day and take off the hunger. In earlier years they would have been put out in the streets at dawn, but these days standards are crumbling altogether—what have we come to, when the laboring poor no longer need to labor? I turned down into Hanbury Street, and a pretty stench they all made. There was the filthy aroma of a pie stall, where no doubt cat meat and dog meat were as plentiful as ever, and all manner of Jew merchants with their “Why hurry past?” and “How are you on a fine day such as this?” I can bear the smell of the Jew but the