Strictly My Husband: It's funny, it's romantic and it's got dancing - what's not to love! Read Online Free

him.
    ‘Utter shite,’ she mouthed at him before addressing Nathan. ‘Nathan,’ she said, ‘I think I need to see a bit more. I’d like you to get back on stage and improvise a bunny being boiled to death.’
    Nathan nodded enthusiastically and dashed back down the aisle towards the stage.
    ‘Amy, that’s not fair,’ hissed Tom.
    ‘He asked for it,’ replied Amy.
    ‘So should I be the White Rabbit out of
Alice in Wonderland
or can I choose what type of bunny I am whilst I’m being boiled?’ Nathan asked once he’d leapt up on stage.
    ‘I don’t care,’ Amy shouted back.
    ‘Right, OK, so just give me a minute.’ He turned his back on his possible future employers.
    ‘For fuck’s sake,’ muttered Amy. She tucked her lime-green Wonderland polo shirt further into her khaki polyester trousers. Tom had told her she didn’t have to wear the park uniform any more now she worked for him but she insisted. As she had pointed out to him, it was free, easy to clean, didn’t need ironing and had an elasticated waist, which was good for when you were having a fat day. Given that Amy was clearly overweight so likely to be having a fat day every day, and – although only twenty-two years old – capable of scaring the shit out of him on a frequent basis, he decided that he would never raise the issue of what she wore ever again.
    ‘I can’t watch,’ Amy whispered in Tom’s ear as Nathan turned around. His face was scrunched up and he had twisted his arms around his shoulders. He emitted an ear-piercing howl and began to spin around and around until he collapsed on the floor in a heap and lay there juddering for a few seconds before emitting one last ear-splitting scream. There was a moment’s silence before he leapt to his feet and took a bow.
    ‘Boiling water doesn’t spin,’ shouted Amy. ‘
Why
were you spinning?’
    ‘Aah,’ said Nathan, raising his finger to point at Amy. ‘I was the White Rabbit, you see. Not any ordinary rabbit. I was in a
hurry
to be boiled to death.’
    Amy stared back at him, then raised two fingers to her head and pretended to shoot herself.
    Tom pushed Amy’s hand down sharply.
    ‘Thank you, Nathan,’ he said. ‘That was, er, very interesting.’
    ‘Thank you.’ Nathan nodded in agreement. ‘And I’d just like to say, Tom – may I call you Tom?’
    ‘Er, yes,’ replied Tom.
    ‘I’d just like to say that I think your theme for Halloween is genius.
Malice in Wonderland
is so clever. It’s like a gift to someone like me. Really something I can get my improv brain’s teeth into.’
    ‘Improv brain’s teeth?’ muttered Amy in amazement.
    ‘And I know you have probably only thought of all the obvious interpretations so far but what I have learnt from all my experience in improv is that it’s the unexpected that really works. Do you know what I mean?’
    Tom and Amy nodded mutely.
    ‘That’s why I did the White Rabbit,’ he continued. ‘No one will think of the White Rabbit, and no one will think of turning him into an angry white rabbit, like I just did in my audition.’
    Tom cast his mind over the thirty-plus Halloween interpretations of the White Rabbit out of
Alice in Wonderland
he’d already seen that day. He stood up and walked down towards the stage and grasped Nathan by the hand.
    ‘Well, thank you, Nathan. We’ll be in touch.’ He smiled and nodded his head towards the exit to indicate his time was up.
    ‘Mad Hatter,’ Nathan suddenly shrieked, just as he was about to depart. ‘I could do you one brilliant Mad Hatter. Bet you’ve not seen any of those today either, have you?’
    Tom cast his mind over the fifty-plus Mad Hatters he'd seen that afternoon. ‘Thanks, but you really have given us enough for now. Goodbye.’
    Nathan reluctantly walked off the stage and Tom returned to his seat. ‘What?’ he asked when he noticed that Amy was glaring at him.
    ‘You’re weird today,’ she announced.
    ‘And your point is?’ he said grumpily,