Hearths of Fire Read Online Free

without thought, she’d sullied their memories and she would never get them back.
    Catori leaned on the shower wall as the reality of what she’d done sank in, lowering herself to the floor as sob after sob wracked her body. She placed her arms around her legs and rested her forehead on top of her knees as she tried to breathe. Why did he leave her? Why didn’t he fight harder to stay alive? Why hadn’t she been there to save him or at least be taken with him? This was the worst punishment imaginable, being left alone with no one to share her pain. There wasn’t a day that passed that she hadn’t wondered what she’d done to deserve this sentence of loneliness. She’d never again feel his hands on her body. She’d never get to taste his lips or hear him sing in the shower. She’d been abandoned.
    The ill-fated phone call echoed through Catori’s mind as if it were happening now. The words saying that Red and the team hadn’t checked in at the designated time had been a blow, but she’d never once considered they’d been killed. She would have felt it—an icy claw around her heart. Once the twelve-hour mark had passed and then the twenty-four hour check had come and gone, she’d reached out to some officials she’d had contact with at the State Department. She’d scrambled for days to figure out a way into the hostile territory, but some kind of incident had provoked the combatants. Thinking she’d be better off to use whatever resources she’d had through Red Starr HRT’s contacts, it wasn’t until later that she’d realized going in herself would have provided her more answers.
    No survivors. Fire had been exchanged, along with grenades, mortars, and artillery. The village had been burned to the ground. Decimated. Nothing of value was left, so the bodies had been thrown into a mass grave, burned and then what remained had been buried. These phrases were said over and over until Catori had thrown up the contents of her stomach. She hadn’t known one could get physically ill over grief, but she’d experienced it firsthand. She went into denial for the longest time, using every resource available for more confirmation. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
    “Why, Red?” Catori whispered hoarsely, leaning her head back against the ceramic tile. “Why would you leave me here alone?”
    She knew it was unfair of her to ask such a question. It wasn’t like he’d had a choice and it sure as hell wasn’t like he was going to answer. Her chest hurt from the pain and there wasn’t a single moment that went by when it wasn’t there. She’d learned to live with it but would have given anything to have it go away. The only person who could do that was Red and he wasn’t here anymore. He would never be here. He wasn’t ever coming back.
    Had he thought of her in those last few moments? Had he called out her name? The one uncertainty that constantly whirled around in her mind was if he’d suffered. How long had it been before he’d stopped breathing, thus ending his suffering? The questions never stopped and they haunted her every night, triggering nightmares of artillery strikes that were beyond her conception.
    Catori wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting in the ceramic tub of the shower, but the chill of the water finally registered. She rose to her knees and grappled with the handle, trying to turn it off. She used the knob to help her stand and tried to wipe away the tears. Shivering and trying to stop her teeth from chattering, she opened the shower door and saw the pitiful reflection of herself in the mirror.
    Catori didn’t know the woman who stared back at her. Her Native American heritage was evident in her long black hair, bronze skin, and dark brown, almost black eyes. She now resembled an apparition of who she once was. Her hair was nowhere near the vibrant shiny black it was in its natural state. It hung in strands as if she were deathly sick. The skin under her eyes looked haunted and her