Stones in the Road Read Online Free

true. That’s not the same as insulting somebody.”
    “My mom didn’t insult you.”
    “She thought Noah was a girl!”
    “She was just playing with you.”
    “Playing?”
    “That’s how she is. She’s going to get on really well with your grandfather.”
    “We’re not taking her to Mama’s house. They will kill her. They will get shotguns out of the safe and gun her down. They will tie her to the back of a four-wheeler and drag her sad, bony carcass all over Union County. They will put her in the bathtub and drown her.”
    “You’re exaggerating.”
    “I can’t imagine what she’d say about my family,” I said, horrified at the thought. “Your mom is a snob.”
    “She has a very particular sense of humor, that’s all. She’s actually a very nice person.”
    “They say that about most serial killers.”
    “She’s never killed anyone, I can assure you.”
    “She just crushes their soul and destroys their spirit.”
    “I think you’re overreacting.”
    “I am not overreacting!” Since I practically shouted this, I was perhaps not being very truthful.
    Jackson laughed.
    “You think it’s funny, Jackie?”
    “I think you’re mad because she’s funnier than you are. And that’s your thing, isn’t it? You’re the funny one. You’re always the center of attention, always getting a laugh. And she stole your thunder right out from under you. Yeah, I’d say that was pretty funny. Priceless, actually.”
    “I don’t believe what I’m hearing!”
    “How does it feel?” Jackson asked with a wicked grin.
    “How does what feel?”
    “She totally showed you up!”
    “Showed me up?”
    “When you start repeating what I say, it’s because you can’t think of some smart remark. For once you weren’t the center of attention, and you hate that, don’t you? You really, really hate that.”
    I eased myself back in the seat and looked out the window.
    “Baby’s mad now,” Jackson observed as he pulled into traffic.
    I wasn’t mad. I was seething. I hadn’t felt such bright, hot hatred in a coon’s age.
    “Don’t start none, won’t be none,” Jackson said, using a Southernism that sounded foreign on his lips.
    I turned to glare at him, but he merely smiled his devil-may-care smile, reminding me that he was just about the most handsome man I’d ever met, that we were engaged to be married, that he was Noah’s “Papa” while I was Noah’s daddy, that he had my heart and soul in his back pocket and always would.
    And worse, he knew it.
    “I hate you,” I said quietly. “ Jackie .”
    “It’s all good. And if you call me Jackie one more time, I’m going to start calling you Clarence. That is your middle name, isn’t it, Wiley Clarence Cantrell? How’s it hanging, Clarence ?”
    “Who told you my middle name?”
    “For me to know and you to find out.”
    “Fine. It doesn’t bother me.”
    “That’s not what your mom said…. Clarence .”
    “You are so childish!”
    “At least my middle name isn’t Clarence .”
    “I hate you.”
    “Don’t start none, won’t be none…. Clarence .”
    In the backseat, Noah starting singing again: “Hoo hoo awk! Hoo hoo awk! Hoo hoo awk!”

5) A little boyfriend
     
    O N THE way to our “consultation” with the assistant principal of Noah’s school, I called my brother, Bill.
    “Hey, bro,” I said.
    “Hey ho.” He sounded distracted or annoyed or both.
    “We picked up Jack’s parents at the airport,” I said.
    “Oh.”
    “I’m thinking about inviting them to Mama’s house for Sunday dinner. Thought y’all would like to meet them.”
    “Oh.”
    I waited for Bill to decide if he was going to talk or not. It took him at least a minute to warm up to the idea of having a conversation over the phone. Forget about e-mail, or texting, or Facebook updates. Answering the phone once in a while was the extent of his infatuation with modern technology.
    “So, what do you think?” I asked after the silence grew.
    “You sure