Force it into my eyes. Weâll be fine.
Goatee Manâs performance piece is more a story than a poem. Itâs about a rat that chews through the walls of the White House and becomes Barack Obamaâs pet. At night, when everyone in the White House is asleep, the rat climbs up to Obamaâs pillow and gives him pro-rat advice like âMake farmers plant more cornâ and âRats arenât to blame for the bubonic plagueâchange the history booksâ and âMake rat catchers pay higher taxes.â Itâs pretty funny. Not laugh-out-loud funny, but people chuckle and Goatee Man gets a good round of applause.
The next reader is old, with a white beard and glasses. He hasnât memorized his piece and fidgets with his pages, losing his place a bunch of times. Itâs about how family is important and how youâve got to hold them close. But he just blurts it out. Even though itâs an important idea, the way he tells it is boring. Itâs like a lecture, a big message that everyone got ages ago. As the old guy reads, Clem slides down in his chair. Thatâs my cue. I reach into my coat pocket and pull out the chocolate bar I bought this morning with some of the money Dad left. Snickers, Clemâs favorite. Clem sits up.
Heâs truly hungry. He eats the thing in three bites, in under a minute, barely chewing. Then he turns the wrapper inside out and licks it clean. I bite my lip. I feel more sad than embarrassed. When Clem finishes his hot chocolate, he reaches in with his pinky and wipes every last bit from the sides of the cup. He sucks all the chocolate from his finger. When I finish my drink, he does the same with my cup.
After the old man, who gets light applause, is a guy about twenty. He has blond dreadlocks and is wearing shortsâin early Aprilâand a hemp necklace strung with shells. His story is called âTofino,â and itâs about getting hit on the head by his surfboard. In the story, he passes out, and while heâs âunderââunder the surface of the water, or unconsciousâhe has a love affair with a mermaid. They get married and everything. One night he wakes from a terrible weight on his chest. His mermaid wife is sitting on him, urgently trying to wake him because he has to go to the surface or heâll die.
The surfer is devastated to leave âthat place of perfect happiness, a place where you never cry, because you are already living in a giant tear.â Eventually, he breaks through the surface of the water, back into the air.
The pain in my lungs is horrible. Iâm sobbing.
My surfing partner grabs me. âMan, was I worried,â he says. âYou were down there for, like, a whole minute.â
I stare at him. I want to tell him what happened, where Iâve been. I touch my face, but there are no tears. Only ocean water.
People clap like crazy when the guyâs finished.
Next up is the girl who wrote about âwhere mercy grows.â Her new piece is about the loose shingles on her apartment building that flap in storms. In her poem, sheâs lying in her bed, waiting for the entire roof to fly off. She says, âExposureâs around the corner. It will fly in on the next ragged wind.â She even sings at one point.
When sheâs finished, I look over at Clem to see if he realizes how good Mercy Girlâs poem was. Heâs reaching for a plate of food from the next table.
âAre you sure theyâre not coming back?â I ask.
âPositive. They took their coats and left as soon as Poor Exposed Me started telling her story.â
Clem plunks two plates onto our tableâone has half a bagel and cream cheese, the other has three-quarters of a raspberry square. Clem digs in. He doesnât offer me any, but I donât mind. Iâm too nervous to eat. Then I notice Surfer Boy across the room, staring at me and Clem. Is he going to tell the café owners about