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were troubling him. I could see the impending storm clouds rolling in his eyes, as I tried to work out what could possibly have gotten him that worked up.
“Everything’s fine.” James said shortly and without looking at.
I nodded, but I didn’t say anything. I could still smell the food cooking and I turned around to see whether the chef had finished anything yet. “I’ll be right back.” I said, as I eyed up the plate of sausages, which were just waiting to be eaten.
“Whatever.” James said, as he stood up and walked out of the room.
I watched him in confusion, as he left. I couldn’t work out what his problem was. I felt, as though he was mad at me, but I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. I tried to scan my brain for things that I might have done. I tried to work out what had changed since the night before and that morning, but nothing stuck out. I couldn’t put my finger on anything, which might have made him treat me like this.
I sat and ate in silence, as my brain ran through an array of sad thoughts. It was my last day at the ranch. I would be leaving the next day and I would be starting a new college. I would be leaving behind the one person who had put me first and made me happy. That same one person seemed pissed at me and I didn’t even know why. Somehow the bright and sunny morning, which I had woken up to, was starting to feel more and more like the grey dreams I had, so long ago.
When I’d finished eating I went straight up to James’ room and knocked on his door. It didn’t take him long to answer and he stepped to the side, so that I could come in. I tried to meet his eyes with my own, but he avoided them, as I sat down on his bed.
“What’s going on?” I asked, as I saw no other way than to be direct about the issue.
“What do you mean?” James asked, as he deflected my question.
“You seem pissed at me? Have I done something?” I asked, as I watched him.
He flinched, as I asked whether it was something I did, but he still didn’t look at me. “It isn’t you.” He said, but there was something in his voice, which told me he was lying. “I just think that we need to break up, before you leave. I mean you know long distances don’t work.” He finished.
I let the seconds slip by, as I tried to process what he was saying. He’d made no indication about this last night or for the last week. In fact, he’d never implied that this would happen in the whole nine months that we had spent together. Had it always meant nothing?
“Don’t I mean anything to you?” I asked, as I tried to push back the hurt tears, which were filling my eyes and jumbling my vision.
“No.” James whispered, as he stared at the floor.
“Why are you lying? Why are you saying that?” I asked, as I tried to hide the pain in my voice, but my whole world was starting to shatter around me. I had wanted to stay with him. I would have given up college to be with him and he wasn’t even willing to try long distance?
“I’m not lying. Look Sophie, I think you should leave.” He said, as he walked towards his door and opened it.
I looked at him and then the door. I let my head run through that cycle, as my brain tried to figure out what the joke was, but it couldn’t find the punch line anywhere. I tried to catch James’ eyes, as I finally stood up and walked out of his room, but he held his firmly to the ground and, as soon, as I had walked out of the door, he closed it with hesitating.
Chapter 7
The meal I had been looking forward to never happened. Instead, I sat up the whole night, whilst I waited for sleep to arrive, but that never happened either. I could feel the seconds dragging passed, as though they had turned into hours. I hadn’t seen James for the entire day. I don’t know if he stayed in his room or whether he’d slipped out, but he’d stayed out of my way.
My brain was still trying to understand what happened. I couldn’t figure out what
“Everything’s fine.” James said shortly and without looking at.
I nodded, but I didn’t say anything. I could still smell the food cooking and I turned around to see whether the chef had finished anything yet. “I’ll be right back.” I said, as I eyed up the plate of sausages, which were just waiting to be eaten.
“Whatever.” James said, as he stood up and walked out of the room.
I watched him in confusion, as he left. I couldn’t work out what his problem was. I felt, as though he was mad at me, but I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. I tried to scan my brain for things that I might have done. I tried to work out what had changed since the night before and that morning, but nothing stuck out. I couldn’t put my finger on anything, which might have made him treat me like this.
I sat and ate in silence, as my brain ran through an array of sad thoughts. It was my last day at the ranch. I would be leaving the next day and I would be starting a new college. I would be leaving behind the one person who had put me first and made me happy. That same one person seemed pissed at me and I didn’t even know why. Somehow the bright and sunny morning, which I had woken up to, was starting to feel more and more like the grey dreams I had, so long ago.
When I’d finished eating I went straight up to James’ room and knocked on his door. It didn’t take him long to answer and he stepped to the side, so that I could come in. I tried to meet his eyes with my own, but he avoided them, as I sat down on his bed.
“What’s going on?” I asked, as I saw no other way than to be direct about the issue.
“What do you mean?” James asked, as he deflected my question.
“You seem pissed at me? Have I done something?” I asked, as I watched him.
He flinched, as I asked whether it was something I did, but he still didn’t look at me. “It isn’t you.” He said, but there was something in his voice, which told me he was lying. “I just think that we need to break up, before you leave. I mean you know long distances don’t work.” He finished.
I let the seconds slip by, as I tried to process what he was saying. He’d made no indication about this last night or for the last week. In fact, he’d never implied that this would happen in the whole nine months that we had spent together. Had it always meant nothing?
“Don’t I mean anything to you?” I asked, as I tried to push back the hurt tears, which were filling my eyes and jumbling my vision.
“No.” James whispered, as he stared at the floor.
“Why are you lying? Why are you saying that?” I asked, as I tried to hide the pain in my voice, but my whole world was starting to shatter around me. I had wanted to stay with him. I would have given up college to be with him and he wasn’t even willing to try long distance?
“I’m not lying. Look Sophie, I think you should leave.” He said, as he walked towards his door and opened it.
I looked at him and then the door. I let my head run through that cycle, as my brain tried to figure out what the joke was, but it couldn’t find the punch line anywhere. I tried to catch James’ eyes, as I finally stood up and walked out of his room, but he held his firmly to the ground and, as soon, as I had walked out of the door, he closed it with hesitating.
Chapter 7
The meal I had been looking forward to never happened. Instead, I sat up the whole night, whilst I waited for sleep to arrive, but that never happened either. I could feel the seconds dragging passed, as though they had turned into hours. I hadn’t seen James for the entire day. I don’t know if he stayed in his room or whether he’d slipped out, but he’d stayed out of my way.
My brain was still trying to understand what happened. I couldn’t figure out what
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