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had changed, but I knew that something had. I knew that something had made James decide to end things and it wasn’t long distance. I kept rerunning the words he had used through in my head, I could hear them being said, as though he was right next to me. I could hear the lies behind them. I knew that it was something I’d done and I just wished he ‘d told me the truth, so that I could have, at least, tried to make it better.
When the sun finally appeared on the skyline, I got up and packed my bags. Liam wasn’t driving me back to the airport, I was getting a cab and I didn’t see any point in waiting around to say goodbye. It wasn’t like James wanted to talk to me anyway.
It didn’t take me long to get all of my stuff together and when I’d pulled it all down the stairs, I picked up the phone and called for the cab. I could hear movement upstairs when I was getting the last bag from the porch and I walked quickly to the cab, so that I’d be gone by the time they made it downstairs.
When I’d sat in the back of the cab, I told the driver that I was going to the airport and sat back, as the car pulled away from the ranch, where I had spent the last nine months of my life. I watched the building getting smaller in the mirror, as the wheels put distance between it and me. I could feel a dull aching in my chest, as I realized that I might never see James again.
I’d realized, as soon, as he’d told me that it was over, that I’d been in love with him. I’d never told him that. It was something, which I wasn’t even sure about until it was too late, but I was deeply in love with him, in a way that I had never experienced before and every mile that was being put between us, felt like a knife being stuck into my back.
I closed my eyes, as the sand spread out around me. There was nothing now until the airport and I let myself drift off, as the car bumping around lulled me to an uneasy sleep. When I eventually woke up, I could hear the cab driver calling out numbers to me and I pushed my eyes open quickly, as I realized we had pulled to a stop.
We were at the airport and he was waiting to be paid. I pushed my hand into my pocket and pulled out some notes, which I sorted and gave to him. My plane wasn’t due for hours yet, but it was better being at the airport than at a house where I wasn’t wanted. I got a trolley for my luggage and packed it all onto it.
When I walked into the airport I was surprised to see that it wasn’t busy. I managed to get checked in quickly and I went to find a café where I could get some breakfast. I could tell that the day was going to be long and it hadn’t even really started yet. I blinked my eyes, as they fought back the tired feeling, which was weighing them down.
As I sat waiting to set off I tried to think about where I was going, rather than where I was leaving. When my mom had sent me to Texas she had meant it, as a punishment, but the nine months I’d spent there had been some of the best of my life. I wasn’t sure they were worth it though. Every beat, which my heart gave, made my chest ache and I wondered whether my mom would be happy knowing that my heart was broken due to her punishment. I wondered whether she would consider that justice for my crimes.
I heard the voice over the speaker system call out my flight number. I could feel my pulse picking up, as I walked towards to the flight gate. At least I was heading back to the city. At least in the city I could be the person I was meant to be, I thought to myself, as I joined the que of people who were waiting to board.
A small part of me though felt the bitter lashing of disappointment that James hadn’t tried to stop me. A tiny part of me had hoped that he might at least try to say goodbye. He knew which airport I would be at. He knew which flight I was getting on and he had chosen to not come.
I stepped onto the plane and back into my old life.
Chapter 8
College hadn’t changed. It was still the
When the sun finally appeared on the skyline, I got up and packed my bags. Liam wasn’t driving me back to the airport, I was getting a cab and I didn’t see any point in waiting around to say goodbye. It wasn’t like James wanted to talk to me anyway.
It didn’t take me long to get all of my stuff together and when I’d pulled it all down the stairs, I picked up the phone and called for the cab. I could hear movement upstairs when I was getting the last bag from the porch and I walked quickly to the cab, so that I’d be gone by the time they made it downstairs.
When I’d sat in the back of the cab, I told the driver that I was going to the airport and sat back, as the car pulled away from the ranch, where I had spent the last nine months of my life. I watched the building getting smaller in the mirror, as the wheels put distance between it and me. I could feel a dull aching in my chest, as I realized that I might never see James again.
I’d realized, as soon, as he’d told me that it was over, that I’d been in love with him. I’d never told him that. It was something, which I wasn’t even sure about until it was too late, but I was deeply in love with him, in a way that I had never experienced before and every mile that was being put between us, felt like a knife being stuck into my back.
I closed my eyes, as the sand spread out around me. There was nothing now until the airport and I let myself drift off, as the car bumping around lulled me to an uneasy sleep. When I eventually woke up, I could hear the cab driver calling out numbers to me and I pushed my eyes open quickly, as I realized we had pulled to a stop.
We were at the airport and he was waiting to be paid. I pushed my hand into my pocket and pulled out some notes, which I sorted and gave to him. My plane wasn’t due for hours yet, but it was better being at the airport than at a house where I wasn’t wanted. I got a trolley for my luggage and packed it all onto it.
When I walked into the airport I was surprised to see that it wasn’t busy. I managed to get checked in quickly and I went to find a café where I could get some breakfast. I could tell that the day was going to be long and it hadn’t even really started yet. I blinked my eyes, as they fought back the tired feeling, which was weighing them down.
As I sat waiting to set off I tried to think about where I was going, rather than where I was leaving. When my mom had sent me to Texas she had meant it, as a punishment, but the nine months I’d spent there had been some of the best of my life. I wasn’t sure they were worth it though. Every beat, which my heart gave, made my chest ache and I wondered whether my mom would be happy knowing that my heart was broken due to her punishment. I wondered whether she would consider that justice for my crimes.
I heard the voice over the speaker system call out my flight number. I could feel my pulse picking up, as I walked towards to the flight gate. At least I was heading back to the city. At least in the city I could be the person I was meant to be, I thought to myself, as I joined the que of people who were waiting to board.
A small part of me though felt the bitter lashing of disappointment that James hadn’t tried to stop me. A tiny part of me had hoped that he might at least try to say goodbye. He knew which airport I would be at. He knew which flight I was getting on and he had chosen to not come.
I stepped onto the plane and back into my old life.
Chapter 8
College hadn’t changed. It was still the
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