Romance of the Snob Squad Read Online Free

asked Ashley to the dance, Prairie. And Kevin hasn’t asked Melanie, either. They’re lying.”
    That erased the science fair from my agenda. “How do you know?” I said.
    Lydia clucked. “Just because Ashley and Hugh and Melanie and Kevin are working on a computer project for the science fair, Ashley thinks they’re all engaged. I know Hugh hasn’t asked her to the dance. You know what a liar Ashley is. She just said that because she thought I was interested. Which I am
not
,” she emphasized to Prairie’s dark face.
    Prairie didn’t look convinced. Neither did I.
    Then Lydia had to add, “But if Ashley really is after Hugh, then he’s doomed. We better think of something fast.”
    Max said, “We could blow up the computer center.”
    “N-no,” Prairie said. “If Hugh wants to ask Ashley, or anyone else, then he sh-should.” She stared off across the van, into rust dust.
    She was right. On the other hand, if Kevin wants to ask Melanie, or anyone else, maybe Max’s plan was solid.
    I didn’t really want to, but the look on Prairie’s face told me it was time to change the subject. “Hey, guys, we
have
to talk about the science fair. What are we going to do? The Beak Man didn’t accept the M&M’s experiment.” I passed around our after-school snack, a bag of peeled baby carrots that nobody would trade for at lunch. “He said he expected more.” I rolled my eyes.
    “I h-hate science,” Prairie said.
    Lydia sneezed. “I think I’m allergic to it.”
    Prairie exhaled a long sigh and added, “Why did Mr. Biekmund v-volunteer our class to represent the whole school?”
    “Because he’s transferring to Widener next year.” Lydia crunched a carrot. “What does he care if Montrose Middle School comes in dead last in the whole district? What does he care if the entire student body is totally humiliated by our class’s stupid science fair projects? It’s no skin off his nose.”
    Mr. Biekmund was leaving? That was news to me. I sort of liked him, weirdo that he was. He didn’t play favorites, not even with Ashley, the principal’s daughter. And he really loved science—you could tell. Even though he rejected my plan, he didn’t reject me. Know what I mean? It wasn’t personal. It was a putrid plan. I admit it. “So what’s our project going to be? I can’t get an F in science, okay? I’ve already got one in social studies. And my language grade as of yesterday is a D plus. Come on, think.”
    There was communal crunching. “I’ve got it,” Lydia said. “We could grow mold. That’s always popular.”
    “Oh, yeah,” Max muttered. “Especially in the cafeteria.”
    “My brother has m-mold growing in his car,” Prairie said. “My d-dad says he gave him the perfect name: Yucca. Get it? Yuck? Car?”
    Lydia said, “Your brother’s name is Yucca? For real?”
    Made sense to me. Prairie’s last name was Cactus. “What are your other brothers’ names?” I asked. She had six brothers. No wonder she was challenged.
    Prairie counted on her fingers. “River, Sun, Moon, Forest, Mesa, and Yucca.”
    Prairie got teased mercilessly. I bet her brothers did, too. Parents who give their kids weird names should be shipped to Shanghai. Where is Shanghai, anyway?
    Lydia said, “What’s your Mom’s name, Aloe Vera?” She hyena-howled.
    Prairie replied flatly, “No. Her name is Marianne.”
    That shut Lydia up. Her mother’s name was Marianne, too. Dr. Marianne Beals. How often did we hear that?
    I sighed wearily. “People, people, people. The project?” God, I sounded like the Beak Man.
    We all crunched in unison. The carrot bag made its way around. Prairie said, “Can we do an animal p-project? Last year my brother Sun h-hatched baby ducks in an incubator.”
    Max’s eyes lit up. “How many?”
    “Eight,” Prairie said. “But one died.”
    “Aw.” Max blinked away. She smiled tenderly. “I love baby animals.”
    We all stared at her. No one in their right mind would leave Max