Restore Me Read Online Free

up, because at least we’re all
fucked up together. Even the screwed up, damaged people in the
world need someone to love and rely on. Maybe that’s why Damon and
I got along so well so fast; I’d had a lot of practice coexisting
with sad, damaged Captain.
    “Knock-knock!”
    I shake off my emotion and walk out of the
office into the store to see Brian standing awkwardly amidst the
construction, man-purse slung over his shoulder. He’s a textbook
gay man who’s very out of the closet. Actually, he may have
never been in the closet at all. I kind of think he was born
wearing skinny jeans, a fashion-forward blazer, and designer
frames.
    I take a deep breath to regain my composure
after my moment of sulking. “Come on in!” I call as brightly as I
can manage. “Watch out for the shit stacked everywhere. It’s a damn
war zone in here.”
    “Oh, honey, you got that right,” he says as he
surveys the place with a discriminating eye.
    “C’mon in here.” I wave him back to Captain’s
office; my office.
    Brian follows, picking his way through piles of
boxes and renovation supplies. He grabs my old chair and drags it
from the wall to sit closer to me. We both settle in and stare for
a moment. “How are you, honey?” he asks, patting my hand
soothingly.
    I take a deep breath and let it hit the bottom
of my lungs before exhaling. I lean back in Captain’s rickety chair
and stare at the ceiling for a moment, willing myself to stay
composed. I try to remind myself that Brian might be having a hard
time, too. He and Damon were close; they’ve known each other for
years. Brian has been Damon’s assistant for a long time. He’s spent
more time with Damon than anyone else has.
    “It’ll get better, honey. I promise. You can’t
beat yourself up, okay?” Brian should sound completely patronizing,
but he doesn’t. His voice is soft and melodic and I suddenly want
to tell him everything.
    Of course I can beat myself up! It’s my
fault. I could’ve stopped him. I could have prevented it all. But I
didn’t and I’m paying for it. I deserve to suffer. I pin him to his
seat with a dirty look that screams “shut the fuck up!” The problem
is, Brian has more attitude than even I do and he knows how to take
a dirty look like a pro. He raises his waxed brows, purses his
balm-covered lips, and clicks his tongue at me. I swear, this
petite, blonde-haired, blue-eyed gay man is on his way into friend
territory and I can’t say I mind. I could use another friend.
    “You know, your dirty looks don’t change the
fact that I’m right.” He narrows his eyes and crosses his arms over
his chest, dramatically shaking his head from side to side.
    I’m somewhere between wanting to laugh and
breaking down. I don’t know if I’m coming or going and this still
all seems like a bad dream. Brian helps, though. I like his brazen
attitude. He’s outspoken and outlandish and doesn’t take shit from
anyone. I admire him. He’s been by my side since I found Damon on
the side of the road.
    If it weren’t for Brian, my gay almost-friend,
and Noni, my middle-aged almost-friend, I’d be truly alone. I
thought I was alone before, but I wasn’t. I haven’t been truly
alone in a long time. I’ve had Captain and Noni for seven years. I
never realized that, in spite of the fact that they we weren’t
technically family, they were still mine. They had my back and I
had theirs; and that should be enough for anyone. I had Damon for a
little while, and now, Brian has joined the ranks. It may be
trivial to most people, but it isn’t to me. Now that I understand
what I had; what I have; I’m creating my own little family support
system.
    I finally nod. I shouldn’t beat myself up about
anything that happened, I know this in theory. And while I don’t
agree wholeheartedly, I’ll appease my new friend for now.
    He gives a small smile, digs his tablet from his
bag, and opens to a checklist. “Did you bring his clothes?”
    The mention of it