Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) Read Online Free Page B

attempts the look
.
    Brian      That’s good. Very good. Our viewers, they have to believe that what we hold up to them is special. For the right sum – life is easier, richer, more fulfilling. And you have to believe that too. Do you think you can do that?
    Again
Lulu
attempts the look
.
    Brian      Good. That’s very good. We don’t get many in your league.
    Lulu      Really?
    Brian      No. That really is very . . . distinctive.
    Lulu      Well. Thank you. Thanks.
    Brian      And now: ‘Just a few more left. So dial this number now.’
    Lulu      Just a few more left. So dial this number now.
    Brian      Excellent. Natural. Professional. Excellent.
    Lulu      I have had training.
    Brian      So you’re . . . ?
    Lulu      I’m, a trained actress.
    Brian
writes down ‘trained actress
’.
    Brian      I don’t recognize you.
    Lulu      No? Well, probably not.
    Brian      Do some for me now.
    Lulu      You want me to . . . ?
    Brian      I want to see you doing some acting.
    Lulu      I didn’t realise. I haven’t prepared.
    Brian      Come on. You’re an actress. You must be able to do some acting.
    An actress – if she can’t do acting when she’s asked then what is she?
    She’s nothing.
    Lulu      Alright.
    She stands up
.
    I haven’t actually done this one before. In front of anyone.
    Brian      Never mind. You’re doing it now.
    Lulu      One day people will know what all this was for. All this suffering.
    Brian      Take your jacket off.
    Lulu      I’m sorry?
    Brian      I’m asking you to take your jacket off. Can’t act with your jacket on.
    Lulu      Actually, I find it helps.
    Brian      In what way?
    Lulu      The character.
    Brian      Yes. But it’s not helping me. I’m here to assess your talents and you’re standing there acting in a jacket.
    Lulu      I’d like to keep it on.
    Brian (
stands
)     Alright. I’ll call the girl. Or maybe you remember the way.
    Lulu      No.
    Brian      What do you mean – no?
    Lulu      I mean . . . please I’d like this job. I want to be considered for this job.
    Brian      Then we’ll continue. Without the jacket. Yes?
    Lulu
removes her jacket. Two chilled ready meals fall to the floor
.
    Brian      Look at all this.
    They both go to pick up the meals.
Brian
gets there first
.
    Exotic.
    Lulu      We’ve got really into them. That’s what we eat. For supper.
    Brian      Did you pay for these?
    Lulu      Yes.
    Brian      Stuffed into your jacket. Did you pay for them?
    Lulu      Yes.
    Brian      Look me in the eyes. Did. You. Pay?
    Lulu      No.
    Brian      Stolen goods.
    Lulu      We have to eat. We have to get by. I don’t like this. I’m not a shoplifter. By nature. My instinct is for work. I need a job. Please.
    Brian      You’re an actress by instinct but theft is a necessity. Unless you can persuade me that I need you.
    Alright. Carry on. Act a bit more.
    No shirt.
    Lulu      No . . .
    Brian      Carry on without the . . . (what’s the . . . ?) . . . blouse. And the . . .
    Lulu
removes her blouse
.
    Lulu      One day people will know what all this was for. All this suffering. There’ll be no more mysteries. But until then we have to carry on living. We must work. That’s all we can do. I’m leaving by myself tomorrow . . .
    Brian (
stifling a sob
)     Oh God.
    Lulu      I’m sorry. Shall I stop?
    Brian      Carry on. Please.
    Lulu      I’m leaving by myself tomorrow. I’ll teach in a school and devote my whole life to people who need it. It’s autumn now. It will soon be winter and there’ll be snow everywhere. But I’ll be working.
    That’s all.
    Lulu
puts her blouse and jacket on
.
    Brian (
wipes away a tear
)     Perfect. Brilliant. Did you make it up?
    Lulu