Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) Read Online Free

you both and I want to look after you for ever.
    Mark      Look I . . .
    Lulu      Tell us the shopping story.
    Mark      Please I want to . . .
    Robbie      Yeah, come on. You still remember the shopping story.
    Pause
.
    Mark      Well alright.
    I’m watching you shopping.
    Lulu      No. Start at the beginning.
    Mark      That’s where it starts.
    Robbie      No it doesn’t. It starts with: ‘summer’.
    Mark      Yes. OK.
    It’s summer. I’m in a supermarket. It’s hot and I’m sweaty. Damp. And I’m watching this couple shopping. I’m watching you. And you’re both smiling. You see me and you know sort of straight away that I’m going to have you. You know you don’t have a choice. No control. Now this guy comes up to me. He’s a fat man. Fat and hair and lycra and he says:
    See the pair by the yoghurt?
    Well, says fat guy, they’re both mine. I own them. I own them but I don’t want them – because you know something? – they’re trash. Trash and I hate them. Wanna buy them?
    How much?
    Piece of trash like them. Let’s say . . . twenty. Yeah, yours for twenty.
    So, I d the deal. I hand it over. And I fetch you. I don’t have to say anything because you know. You’ve seen the transaction.
    And I take you both away and I take you to my house. And you see the house and when you see the house you know it. You understand? You know this place.
    And I’ve been keeping a room for you and I take you into this room. And there’s food. And it’s warm. And we live out our days fat and content and happy.
    Pause
.
    Listen. I didn’t want to say this. But I have to.
    I’m going.
    Lulu      Scag. Loves the scag.
    Mark      Not any more.
    Robbie      Loves the scag more than he loves us.
    Mark      Look. Look now. That isn’t fair. I hate the scag.
    Lulu      Still buying the scag though, aren’t you?
    Mark      No. I’m off the scag. Ten days without the scag. And I’m going away.
    Robbie      From us?
    Mark      Yes. Tonight.
    Lulu      Where are you going?
    Mark      I want to get myself sorted. I need help. Someone has to sort me out.
    Robbie      Don’t do that. You don’t need to do that. We’re helping you.
    Lulu      We’re sorting you out.
    Mark      It’s not enough. I need something more.
    Robbie      You’re going? And leaving us?
    Mark      I’m going to get help.
    Robbie      Haven’t we tried? We’ve tried. What do you think we’ve been doing? All this time. With the . . . clearing up when you, you . . .
    Lulu      Where?
    Mark      Just a place.
    Lulu      Tell us.
    Mark      A centre. For treatment.
    Lulu      Are you coming back?
    Mark      Of course I am.
    Robbie      When?
    Mark      Well that all depends on how well I respond. To the treatment. A few months.
    Robbie      Where is it? We’ll visit.
    Mark      No.
    Robbie      We’ll come and see you.
    Mark      I mustn’t see you.
    Robbie      I thought you loved me. You don’t love me.
    Mark      Don’t say that. That’s a silly thing to say.
    Lulu      Hey. Hey, look. If you’re going, then go.
    Robbie      You don’t love me.
    Lulu      Look what you’ve done. Look what you’ve done to him.
    What are you waiting for? A taxi? Maybe you want me to call a taxi? Or maybe you haven’t got the money? You going to ask me for the money? Or maybe just take the money? You’ve sold everything. You’ve stolen.
    Mark      Yes. It’s not working. That’s why I’m going.
    Lulu      Yes. I think you should. No. Because we’re going to be fine. We’re going to do very well. And I think maybe you shouldn’t come back. We won’t want you back.
    Mark      Let’s wait and see.
    Lulu      You don’t own us. We exist. We’re people. We can get by. Go.
    Fuck right off. Go. GO.
    Mark