Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) Read Online Free Page A

     Goodbye.
    Exit
Mark .
    Robbie      Stop him. Tell him to stay. Tell him I love him.
    Lulu      He’s gone now. Come on. He’s gone. We’ll be alright. We don’t need him. We’ll get by.
Scene Two
     
    Interview room
.
    Brian
and
Lulu
sit facing each other. Brian is showing
Lulu
an illustrated plastic plate
.
    Brian      And there’s this moment. This really terrific moment. Quite possibly the best moment. Because really, you see, his father is dead. Yes? The Lion King was crushed – you feel the sorrow welling up in you – crushed by a wild herd of these big cows. One moment, lord of all he surveys. And then . . . a breeze, a wind, the stamping of a hundred feet and he’s gone. Only it wasn’t an accident. Somebody had a plan. You see?
    Lulu      Yes. I see.
    Brian      Any questions. Any uncertainties. You just ask.
    Lulu      Of course.
    Brian      Because I want you to follow.
    Lulu      Absolutely.
    Brian      So then we’re . . . there’s . . .
    Lulu      Crushed by a herd of wild cows.
    Brian      Crushed by a herd of wild cows. Yes.
    Lulu      Only it wasn’t an accident.
    Brian      Good. Excellent. Exactly. It wasn’t an accident. It may have looked like an accident but. No. It was arranged by the uncle. Because –
    Lulu      Because he wanted to be King all along.
    Brian      Thought you said you hadn’t seen it.
    Lulu      I haven’t.
    Instinct. I have good instincts. That’s one of my qualities. I’m an instinctive person.
    Brian      Is that right?
    Brian
writes down ‘instinctive’ on a pad
.
    Brian      Good. Instinctive. Could be useful.
    Lulu      Although of course I can also use my rational side. Where appropriate.
    Brian      So you’d say you appreciate order?
    Lulu      Order. Oh yes. Absolutely. Everything in its place.
    Brian
writes down ‘appreciates order
’.
    Brian      Good. So now the father is dead. Murdered. It was the uncle. And the son has grown up. And you know – he looks like the dad. Just like him. And this sort of monkey thing comes to him. And this monkey says: ‘It’s time to speak to your dead dad.’ So he goes to the stream and he looks in and he sees –
    Lulu      / His own reflection.
    Brian      his own reflection. You’ve never seen this?
    Lulu      Never.
    Brian      But then . . . The water ripples, it hazes. Until he sees a ghost. A ghost or a memory looking up at him. His . . .
    Pause
.
    Excuse me. It takes you right here. Your throat tightens. Until . . . he sees . . . his . . . dad.
    My little one. Gets to that bit and I look round and he’s got these big tears in his eyes. He feels it like I do.
    Because now the dad speaks. And he says: ‘The time has come. It is time for you to take your place in the Cycle of Being (words to that effect). You are my son and the one true King.’
    And he knows what it is he’s got to do. He knows who it is he has to kill.
    And that’s the moment. That’s our favourite bit.
    Lulu      I can see that. Yes.
    Brian      Would you say you in any way resembled your father?
    Lulu      No. Not really. Not much.
    Brian      Your mother?
    Lulu      Maybe. Sometimes. Yes.
    Brian      You do know who your parents are?
    Lulu      Of course. We still . . . you know. Christmas. We spend Christmas together. On the whole.
    Brian
writes down ‘celebrates Christmas
’.
    Brian      So many today are lost. Isn’t that so?
    Lulu      I think that’s right. Yes.
    Brian      And some come here. They look to me. You’re looking to me, aren’t you?
    Well, aren’t you?
    Lulu      Yes. I’m looking to you.
    Brian (
proffers plate
)     Here. Hold it. Just hold it up beside you. See if you look right. Smile. Look interested. Because this is special. You wouldn’t want to part with this. Can you give me that look?
    Lulu