too.”
“Jesus, Bess.”
“Hey, this is not my fault.”
“No. And it’s not mine either. The stuff will have to stay here a little while, Bess. Stick it in the laundry cupboard until I can get fixed up.”
“I thought you were fixed up pretty good, from what I heard.”
“Yeah? Is that what you heard? You heard wrong.”
“Sorry, Ash. Look… I’ve got to get ready for work.”
“Yeah. Just drop that letter in to me as soon as you can.”
“I’ll get you a copy later today. I might need the original in case things get… awkward.”
“What? Just give me the damn letter Bess! What, do you think I’m going to take you to court?
Don’t be so ridiculous. This isn’t you fault,” I said, but Bess’s tired face didn’t change. She looked cautious, suspicious even. “Just show me that letter. You’ve evicted me on account of a letter I didn’t write, so the least you can do is show me the bloody thing!”
Her face reddened, and she nodded and moved out of the room. I waited, looking out of the kitchen window over the park behind our building and the views of South London beyond. It turned out that was the last time I would ever see that view
Within an hour of leaving my old place I was back at Brandon’s flat. Bess hadn’t even given me the letter. She said she couldn’t find it, but Bess seemed afraid of repercussions and I didn’t believe her. Either way, I think I knew where that letter had come from. I had to work out how to play this from now on. So far no one but me knew that I intended to leave Brandon, but with no home to call my own, I was between a rock and a hard place. I paced up the stairs and saw Amanda watching television in the front room. She looked round at me, a triangular slice of brown toast and honey in her hand.
“I thought you’d gone.”
“So did I. Is he awake yet?”
“Does it look like it?”
I shook my head and walked away. She was still playing the fool, but I knew her reasons. I tried the handle of Brandon’s bedroom door, and opened it quietly. There he was, his big muscular bare chest exposed, his finely toned pectoral muscles and well defined biceps in all their glory. I closed the door and stood there briefly and annoyingly mesmerised by his male beauty and filled with resentment for him at the same time. I moved and he didn’t wake up. I dumped my bag carefully and walked across to the bed. Right there and then I could have done anything to him. I could have poured cold water over his head, or emptied the trash on him, or slapped his face as hard as I wanted to. I stood there looking down, appreciating the curves of his body, the stripped down fatless tone of his abs, all the way down to where the duvet covered his modesty. Even at rest, without trying at all, Brandon had a very fine body to look at. I laid my hand gently on his bicep and looked at my finger nails. I didn’t go for the crazy varnishes, but I had good French-polished nails. They were strong. I could have scratched him to ribbons. After all he had done to me he deserved it. He didn’t stir. Strangely, as angry as I was, I found his sleeping state and his exposed body strangely alluring. I could have hurt him. I could have kissed him. I hated what Brandon was doing to me. On the one hand he was ruining my life, a fact which no one but Cody had seemed to notice. On the other hand, they didn’t notice because he was also Brandon Lynes, writer, personality, and all around local Adonis. Right now I had a foot in both camps. I traced my finger gently along the curve of his bicep, contemplating scratching his skin until he bled all the while, and then I slid my fingers across the his chest, feasting on the smooth skin and supple muscle, enjoying the hard ridges and the contours of his musculature. When I reached his abs, it must have started to tickle, because Brandon stirred. His big blue eyes opened when my hand was touching his lower abdomen, just an inch above that inviting