could no longer mourn the relationship; could no longer force herself to miss him. It was closure, yet it left her at loose ends.
She had circled back to that strange place she found herself each time she ended things with a lover, harping on the past again, stuck in old dreams of the treachery and violence and heartbreak that had stolen her capacity to move on. Itâd been practically five years since the shooting, but it might as well have been five minutes.
She would never be free.
âI need to dig into this workout, all right?â Sheâd been at it over two hours already, stirring around endorphins, trying to burn off tension, but what did trivial details matter? âWhatever you tracked me down for, letâs talk about it later.â
Concern pulled at Charlotteâs full lips. âIf the guyâs name can incite rage, then you need to put some things in check.â
âItâs not that.â Balancing her weight to her uninjured hip, she mopped her face with the bottom of her midriff top. It wasnât about Parker, whoâd been a diversion to keep her body sated. In DEA, diversions and one-time-only sex had been practical. After sheâd packed her stuff in her Camaro and driven toward a new life in Nevada, theyâd become few and far between. âWe werenât aiming for an engagement and a happily-ever-after.â
âBut Parker thought you were, didnât he?â
âHe was mistaken. Thatâs meant for some people, like you and your fiancé. But as for meââ she shrugged, gave her best attempt at a carefree laugh ââIâm meant for something else. Good times. Flings. One-nighters.â
Charlotte smiled, hooking her arm around the mannequinâs neck. A mane of curly ebony coils bobbed about her shoulders. âThen let discretion be your friend. My parents might not react too kindly to paparazzi catching you taking walks of shame. It wonât reflect so well on the franchise, is what theyâd say.â
âSpoken from experience? Who caught you sneaking out of Nate Francoâs place with your panties in your hand?â About this time last year Charlotte had struck up a naughty affair with a fellow trainerâwho also happened to be the son of the teamâs shady previous owner. A suspension, a resignation and a hell of a lot of drama had ensued, but Joey tried not to linger on that.
Where her moral compass had guided her, and what sheâd done in the name of friendship and for the sake of the law, still weighed on her. Somewhere in the recesses of her thoughts was a sense of dread that whispered her day of reckoning awaited her.
Maybe the unexplainable feeling that she was being followed wasnât so crazy, after all. But she wouldnât tell Charlotte that.
âIâm Marshall and Temperance Blueâs employee first and their daughter second,â Charlotte said. âWhatâs best for the business prevails over all else.â
âThat is effing depressing.â
âA fact thatâs not likely to change, and what you can look forward to, now that youâve joined the drug prevention initiative. But I predict Ma and Pop will be spending more time at the stadium than at camp. Letâs hope that gives you some breathing room.â
âThey told you I said yes?â
âMa did. Last night we met up with the seamstress for another gown fitting. More alterations to be done. Oh, hang on, I need to download some veil designs.â She plucked her phone from an embossed leather handbag. A couple of taps and swipes and she dropped the phone back inside. âSo the reason I found you this morning is about the wedding. You never confirmed that youâd be my maid of honor.â
Right, that. Charlotte had asked last month and Joey was still stalling. Rejecting the honor would hurt her friendâs feelings. But accepting when all she could imagine was limping down the aisle