Secret gave up on her dreams. There was no other way she could afford to attend without scholarships. And then when Yolanda put her on the streets pregnant, she couldnât even afford to live. So she resorted to doing what her father had introduced her to: tricking.
Not that it made it any better, but Secret only tricked with one guy in particular, Lucky. Although Secret never straight-out asked Lucky and he never straight-out told her, she knew he had his hands in the streets. For lack of better terms, he was a baller, street pharmacist. The plan was that sheâd pretend she liked him, sleep with him, and then tell him that the baby she was already pregnant with was his. Sheâd at least have a baby daddy with a bank roll to take care of her. It worked for all of ten minutes. Secretâs conscience wouldnât let her go through with the scheme, especially once she started to fall in love with Lucky. But the day the cops pulled them over in Secretâs car that had a trunk full of dope that Lucky had put there, Secretâs luck ran out. Lucky, unwilling to take the blame for the dope, since the car was in Secretâs name, she went down for it and went to jail. Now here she was giving birth to her child while she waited on her trial to start. She had no idea how much longer sheâd been in jail. What was even worse, she had no idea what she was going to do with her baby when she went back to jail.
Chapter 3
âThe motherâs blood pleasure is dropping by the second. We canât stop the vaginal bleeding. Get her upstairs, stat!â the doctor yelled as two of the nurses handled the baby and two other nurses helped him tend to the patient.
Upon the doctorâs orders, one nurse opted to assist with the situation going on with Secret. The new born baby was in good hands with a single nurse.
âGo give the staff on two the heads-up,â the doctor said to the nurse who had just come over to assist. âLet them know the situation and to prep accordingly. Looks like weâre going to have to do an emergency procedure to stop the bleeding.â The doctor was turning red with fury. âIf anything happens to this patient and her baby, those EMTs . . .â He shook his head.
The nurse receiving the instructions nodded and whizzed out of the room after acknowledging with, âYes, Doctor.â
Secret just lay there in and out of consciousness. She was moving her lips and every now and then a faint, âMy baby,â would manage to escape her lips, but it wasnât loud enough to be heard over all the commotion going on in the room. Among the commotion, though, there was one thing that Secret noticed she didnât hear; her baby wasnât crying anymore.
If Secret didnât know any better, she would have sworn someone was playing with the light switch. Light, then darkness. Darkness then light. She fought to keep her eyes open, to stay awake. She could not fall into a sleep without first knowing if her baby was okay. She was feeling weaker and weaker by the second. It was becoming a losing battle.
âMy ba . . .â She couldnât even get the last word out she was so weak. The next thing she knew, it felt as if someone was spinning her around and around when hospital assistants entered the room and began to wheel her from the room. Light then dark. The world was spinning. Dizzy. âMy baby,â she managed, still too faint to be audible.
âYouâre going to be all right, baby,â an older African American nurse leaned down and said to Secret as the roller coaster of a ride continued through the hospital corridors.
All Secret could do was stare at her with heavy, fluttering eyelids. She was pleading for answers with her eyes. All she wanted to know was if her baby was all right. She couldnât have cared less about herself. Was her baby all right? Was she alive?
Godâs will be done.
Those words her grandmother used to say all