Never Wear Red Lipstick on Picture Day: (And Other Lessons I've Learned) Read Online Free

tufts on the sides that look like feathers. And owls can be pretty scary when you see them up close. So when I accidentally went into his office, I froze on my own two feet, and I could not make them move forward or backward. I just stared at ­Principal Jacks and thought about how he looked like an owl.
    Finally, Principal Jacks said, “Mrs. Gradey, looks like we have a trespasser,” and the secretary came to fetch me. He was not very mean about it, so that is something, but that does not mean that I am any less scared of him today. This is why, when he walks into Mrs. Spangle’s classroom, I am almost as nervous to see him as Natalie seems to be.
    â€œGood afternoon.” Principal Jacks stares down at us through his round owl glasses. No one says a word.
    â€œGood afternoon,” Principal Jacks repeats.
    â€œGood afternoon,” my class mumbles back to him.
    â€œI hear we had some more excitement in the cafeteria today,” he says, and I turn to look at ­Dennis. Dennis’s ears turn bright red at the tips, and he does not look up from his desktop.
    â€œThis isn’t the first incident of this kind, unfortunately, and frankly, I’ve had enough of this lack of decorum in the cafeteria. The students of Roselee Elementary School are better than that. Am I right?”
    My class and I all nod our heads.
    â€œIn order to help us work on our behavior, we’ve been planning a little cafeteria contest for you all, which I’ve decided to put into place sooner rather than later,” Principal Jacks tells us. And before I can think better of it, I hear a “Wahoo!” escape from my mouth, because I love a contest. But then I throw my hands over my lips, because I can’t believe I just “wahooed” at the principal. I look over at Mrs. Spangle, and she has her face bent down toward the floor, her shoulders shaking.
    â€œYou like the sound of that?” I hear Principal Jacks ask, but I keep looking at Mrs. Spangle, trying to figure out why her shoulders are trembling up and down.
    â€œExcuse me,” Principal Jacks says, and he snaps his fingers. And I have always wanted to learn to snap, so I stare at his hand and try to figure out how he did it.
    â€œMandy,” I hear Mrs. Spangle’s voice say. “Mr. Jacks is talking to you,” and I take my eyes away from Principal Jacks’s hand and look back at Mrs. Spangle. I can tell then by the smile that is still stuck in the corners of her mouth why her shoulders were shaking after my “Wahoo!”: she was laughing! And I love to make Mrs. Spangle laugh.

    I turn back to Principal Jacks, and my stomach suddenly feels shaky from nervousness.
    â€œYou like the sound of the contest?” Principal Jacks asks. “I didn’t even tell you what it’s for yet.”
    â€œI just really like contests,” I answer quietly.
    â€œWhat do you like about them?” Principal Jacks asks, and his owl eyes seem to be grinning at me.
    â€œI like winning them,” I answer honestly, and now it is Principal Jacks’s turn to laugh at me. But he is not laughing at me in a mean way—he is laughing like he thinks I am funny.
    And I kind of really like Principal Jacks right then.
    â€œWell, I hope you’ll want to win this one after you hear what the prize is,” Principal Jacks continues. “Each day the lunch aides are going to be handing out raf f le tickets to those students who they feel are doing the best jobs of being courteous, well behaved, and mannerly in the cafeteria. Every time you get a ticket, you can write your name on it and stick it in the giant jar that Mrs. Gradey is going to place outside of the office. To get the ball rolling, we’re going to hold our first drawing on Wednesday afternoon, which is what special day around here?”
    My classmates shoot their hands in the air, but no one shoots it as high as me.
    â€œYes, you again,”