Never Wear Red Lipstick on Picture Day: (And Other Lessons I've Learned) Read Online Free Page A

Principal Jacks calls on me. “Boy, we have an eager beaver in this one, don’t we, Mrs. Spangle?”
    And I am not sure why Principal Jacks is calling me a beaver, but I do know that next Wednesday is Picture Day, which is practically the best day of the year. “Picture Day!” I blurt out, and then I follow that up with another “Wahoo,” just to see if it will make him laugh again or, even better, snap his fingers.
    â€œRight,” Principal Jacks says, and he chuckles. “Our first drawing will be on Picture Day, and the chosen winner each week will get to have lunch with me. But remember, you can’t win without a raf f le ticket, and you can’t get a raf f le ticket without perfect behavior in the cafeteria. The better your behavior every day, the better your chances of winning. Understood?”
    We nod our heads up and down.
    â€œOh, and I forgot to mention: These lunches are going to take place in the Teachers’ Lounge on Fridays. We’ll do it as many times as we need to in order to make the Roselee Elementary School students the best-behaved cafeteria-goers in the entire nation. How does that sound to you—what is your name again?”
    Principal Jacks is looking right at me.
    â€œMe?” I point to my chest.
    â€œYes, the ‘Wahoo Girl,’” Principal Jacks answers, and I am pretty happy that Dennis is so down in the dumps right now, because if he were not, I am almost positive he would give me the new namecall of “Wahoo Girl.”
    â€œMandy,” I answer him. “Mandy Berr.”
    â€œWell, how does that contest sound to you, Mandy Berr?”
    â€œExcellent,” I answer. “I would like to win it.” And that is the truth, because not only do I like to win things, but I would definitely like to have lunch with Principal Jacks, since he thinks I am funny. Plus, the lunch is in the Teachers’ Lounge, and I have always wanted to see inside of there, because students are not usually allowed. And I think it is probably a very interesting place, with vending machines and everything.
    â€œGreat,” Principal Jacks says. “I hope you all feel the same and will be on your best behavior in the cafeteria this week and, well, every week. And I hope we never have to have this kind of conversation again.” And I am not positive, but I am pretty sure that he’s looking in Dennis’s direction right then.
    But Dennis still does not look up from his desk, and even his Mohawk is starting to look droopy.
    And I am sort of glad that he is acting so unhappy, because that is what happens when you steal handbags and gummy bears. Especially when they belong to me.

CHAPTER 4
    Raffle Losers

    â€œI AM GOING TO HAVE LUNCH with the principal,” I announce to Mom in the kitchen after school.
    â€œOoooh,” I hear Timmy’s voice answer, but I do not see him anywhere.
    â€œOh yeah? Sounds exciting. How did that happen?” Mom asks.
    â€œHe is having a contest for us to win a lunch with him. Whoever has the best behavior in the cafeteria gets a raffle ticket.”
    â€œWhat’s a raffle?” Timmy’s voice interrupts again.
    â€œWHERE ARE YOU?” I yell. “You are annoying me.”
    â€œHide-and-seek!” Timmy calls back.
    â€œYou cannot play hide-and-seek and then talk from your hiding spot,” I say. “That makes no sense.” Although, if I am being honest, I am kind of impressed with wherever Timmy’s hiding spot is, because I still do not see him anywhere. I peer underneath the table, behind the counter, and around the curtains, all very quickly so that Mom cannot tell I am looking for him. Because I try to never, ever play games with Timmy. He is a preschooler, and I am a second grader, and that would just be humiliating.
    Plus, Timmy is gross.
    â€œFind me!” Timmy’s voice calls out again, and that’s when I spot the piles of Tupperware