My Other Car is a Spaceship Read Online Free

brick-red Sestran Captain snorted through nasal slits.
    “I agree. Are they fiercer fighters than we are?”
    The room erupted in laughter at the idea.
    “Very well, then. That leaves only one possible reason why they’ve depleted our ranks by more than forty percent in the last two years: they’re better organized than we are.”
    A quiet muttering was the only response from those around the table.
    “The problem,” Penrod continued, “is simply one of coordination. We’re raiding individually, with no interaction except by accident. Sometimes two ships raid the same outpost one after the other and the second ship gets nothing out of it.”
    “Ain’t that the truth,” a human Captain groused. “That’s happened to me more than once. What a waste of planning, effort, and fuel!”
    “Exactly. And that’s the point of this meeting. We can’t keep doing business like this. We have to organize, share our intel, coordinate our activities, pool our spoils. In short, we need to act like businessmen—”
    “And women!” a female Chan’Yi interjected.
    “Of course,” Penrod conceded with a nod. “My apologies. And women. We need to join together, hire a professional accounting team, open bank accounts, invest in securities, buy off government officials, and so on. But we can’t do all that individually. On our own, we’re not big enough or powerful enough. Most of us don’t have more than a handful of ships. What we need is a fleet. Then we can smash the opposition and take what we want.”
    “And just where do we find this mythical fleet,” asked an Alberian . His pebbled green skin gave the appearance of being scaly, even though the Alberians had lost their true scales millions of years of evolution ago.
    “We don’t find one, we assemble one. Together we’re infinitely more powerful than we are individually. We need to band together. In short, we need to incorporate.”
    The room erupted in bedlam: shouts, laughter, snorts of derision, but also some nods of agreement. Penrod watched and listened, to gauge where the support and opposition were centered. After a couple of minutes, the hubbub subsided. Penrod raised his voice over the last of the commotion.
    “Let’s get some idea of how much support there is for this idea. All those who agree the idea is worth discussing further, please raise a hand, tentacle, or claw.”
    Eight hands, including Penrod’s, and one tentacle—the Foren Captain’s—went up.
    “All opposed?”
    Four hands and a claw went up.
    At the press of a button, all five pirates writhed and spasmed as electricity shot up one leg of their steel chairs, across their torsos, and down another chair leg. The other pirates leapt from their seats in surprise. Two seconds later, five smoking corpses slumped forward onto the tabletop.
    “Relax,” Penrod said, smiling at those standing. “The rest of you are safe. We’re all partners now, aren’t we? We’re about to change the rules of the game very much in our favor. Until now, we’ve had to limit ourselves to raiding embargoed planets, small outposts, and cargo ships. But no more. Soon we’ll be able to go anywhere and take anything we want!”
    He paused for the cheering, stomping, and table-pounding. While that was going on, his underlings cleared the room of the non partners and the ventilation system ramped up to evacuate the stench of charbroiled meat. Then he resumed.
    “Very well. Now let’s get down to the details. I’ve drawn up a draft charter of incorporation for all of you to look over. I think it’s fair to everyone, allocating shares of stock to all the partners according to their verified current net worth. We can elect a chairman and CEO later.
    “ Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time we went on the offensive. If we do this right, we can destroy the Merchants’ Unity in short order.”
    Amid roars and hoots of approval, BAE (Buck-An-Ear) Corporation was born.
     

     
    “My apologies , Hal.” Kalen resumed