51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style Read Online Free

flat to give it to him. But he was standin there with dinner for us! Now, we’re not talkin a bucket from kfc or a fish supper from the chippy – it was fuckin oysters!
    He said, ‘These are an aphrodisiac Margaret.’
    And I said, ‘Your what’s itchy?’
    Then I wondered if he meant that he’d dipped them in that date rape stuff an I didn’t fancy that cos I wanted to remember gettin shagged by him. Big Sally-Ann gave that stuff to half the Tranmere Reserves Football Team at their Christmas do. And she ended up riding about ten of them round the back of the boozer. And they never knew anything about it – still don’t ...
    So I was about to tell Mr Big not to bother wastin it on me cos I was a cert, when he lifted one of the oysters up an tipped it into his mouth. I nearly puked – it was like a big snot. So he told me to swallow it whole an I said to him, ‘I’d rather swallow you whole, babe.’ Then he gave me a glass of champagne and those bubbles went straight to my head and after about ten minutes I was eatin those oysters like a hungry whore.
    Then he said to me, ‘Margaret, would you like to come and see the red room of pain again? This time I have laid out some of my toys for you.’
    So in we went an I almost died. It was like a bomb had gone off in Ann Summers. There were whips, chains, sticks, metal balls (God knows what for) an the dildos!! Then he just laughed an told me to get on the bed. So I looked at his lips an his arse in those chinos an I jumped on to the bed with my tongue hangin out like a big thirsty hound.
    So I said, ‘How many slags have you shagged in here?’
    An he replied, ‘Only fifteen,’ an then he pushed me on to my front an said to get on all fours, then he whipped my knickers off an came closer to look at my arse! I was mortified.
    But he said, ‘You have a lovely bum, Margaret – very soft.’
    But I was thinkin to myself, if I do an oyster fart now he’s gonna get his eyebrows singed an end up with a squint! An then before I could do anythin the fucker walloped me across the arse with the whip! An I shouted, ‘Holy mother of fuck!’ An he whipped me again an again. But the mad thing was ... I was drippin.
    Then he said, ‘Call me sir!’
    An I said, ‘Call me “Bell” cos my knickers are ringin here!’ Then he took me from behind an went at me like a barn door in a gale, an I was lovin it.
    Then after, we were lyin on the big bed an I said, ‘Why can’t I touch you, Mr Big?’
    An he started telling me about his past and how an older woman who was a friend of his parents was whippin the shit out of him when he was only fifteen!! She used to shag him behind their backs. An I thought to myself, pervy bitch!
    â€˜Fuck me, did she put fags out on your chest?’
    He said, ‘Oh no, Mrs Robinson wouldn’t do that. Not her style. She’s very discreet.’
    Then I was just picturing him and the old slag when he said, ‘We’re just good friends now. I meet her for lunch sometimes. She’s one heck of a lady.’
    An I said, ‘Some cougar whipped your ass when you were a kid? Can you not see that’s seriously fucked up? I’m away. In the words of the gospel accordin to Rihanna, you’re fuckin disturbia !’
    An I got dressed an he was annoyed at me. But I legged it, saying, ‘See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya, babe.’ So I grabbed my clothes an ran out to the hallway.
    Then later on, I was lyin on my bed thinkin about her bitch-slappin him – an I was mad with jealousy! And I thought, I think I might love the bastard!! Then I thought about him in those chinos an I was ringin again.

A Shag on the Bus Tour
    The next day Mr Big texted me sayin to come over an see him cos he wanted to talk to me. And I thought to myself, ‘What am I doin with this man? He’s torturin me!’ But then I thought