My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord Read Online Free

identity.”
    Serge flinched. “Ah no, she has spotted us.”
    From the right back position deep in the other side of the field, Miss Dunham’s insect vision latched on to us like a frog’s sticky tongue on a fly. “Quick,” I muttered, “pretend you’re offside.”
    â€œToo late,” cried Serge.
    Miss Dunham’s whistle shrilled across the field. She raised one tracksuited arm and yelled, “Hey, you two, get in the game. What are you afraid of?” A cruel smile flashed on her lips. “If you mess up your hair, it won’t be the end of the world.”
    Serge and I exchanged looks.
The end of the world?
Could this be even worse than I’d feared? Perhaps we weren’t dealing with just any low-level supervillain. Perhaps the greatest threat to our existence since the Nemesis asteroid was wearing a light-blue tracksuit and wielding an Acme Thunderer silver-plated whistle.
    â€œWell, what do you say now?” I asked, walking onto the field to the jeers and slow clapping of our classmates.
    At my side, Serge stared straight ahead, stone-faced. “She must be stopped.”
    â€¢Â â€¢Â â€¢
    â€œWell, the good news is that Miss Dunham’s ankle is
not
broken,” said the principal. It was later that same afternoon, and Serge and I sat opposite him in his office. He had a head like a tomato, and his name was Hines—an unfortunate combination. He loomed behind a desk the size of an Imperial Star Destroyer, his gaze like a tractor beam. “However, you two boys are in a great deal of trouble.”
    â€œBut she has a ‘Most Wanted’ list,” I blurted. “It’s on her wall, with my brother’s name circled in blood.”
    Mr. Hines frowned. “I would hazard a guess it’s ballpoint, Luke, and I believe Miss Dunham wants your brother for the track team. He’s her number one target.”
    â€œOh, come on, sir.” I scoffed. “Are we really supposed to believe
that
?”
    He leaned in, his big ripe head filling my vision. “What
do
you believe, Luke?”
    That our gym teacher has been hiding her true, hideous form behind the human mask of Sue Dunham and is actually an insectoid supervillain with plans for global domination.
I shrugged. “Don’t know, sir.”
    Mr. Hines sighed. “You don’t know. Of course not.”
    It began to appear that my suspicions about Miss Dunham had been misplaced. Unfortunately, I was only coming to this realization
after
catching her in the swiftly devised and brilliantly executed Operation Venus Flytrap. Over lunch Serge and I had set a cunning trap in her natural habitat: the school gym. The trap involved a pair of portable basketball hoops, a large net, a ball cage, a scoreboard, and a lot of mini-trampolines. It had worked beautifully. Miss Dunham had ended up wrapped in the net, squished into the ball cage. She made a lot of fuss in a high-pitched squeal that sounded to me like just the sort of thing you’d hear from an insect-based supervillain. Phase two of our plan was simple. We waited for her to shed her human skin and reveal her true pincer-snapping, hairy-legged form.
    We were still waiting when her next class arrived for volleyball.
    Now, Mr. Hines sat back. His leather chair creaked like my grandpa’s knees.
    â€œYou’d do well to take a page from your big brother’s book. Zack Parker is a shining example of responsibility, diligence, and academic excellence.”
    I wanted to scream. Instead I wriggled in my chair and seethed like a bubbling volcano.
    â€œNow, I don’t believe that either of you boys
meant
to hurt Miss Dunham. However, that doesn’t excuse your behavior. Miss Dunham herself has suggested your punishment.”
    Banished to the Phantom Zone? Locked up in Arkham Asylum?
    â€œWhen school resumes, in addition to your regular PE schedule, you will both be required to run twenty laps