My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord Read Online Free Page A

around the playing field and climb the rope, twice a week.”
    Serge went pale, mumbled something in French, and took a quick suck from his asthma inhaler. Mr. Hines said some more stuff about responsibility and conduct and top buttons on shirts, then sent us back to class.
    â€œSue Dunham.” Out in the corridor I shook my head, mystified at my error of judgment. “But I was so sure. . . .”
    â€œFace it, Luke—she is not the supervillain. Not even a regular villain.” Serge sighed. “I bet her name is not even Susan.”
    â€œBut all the evidence . . .”
    He pursed his lips and blew out. “It was wishful thinking. We have been so desperate to experience a new adventure that we see evil everywhere.” He looked at me. “Per’aps it is time for us to put those wishes behind us. My
maman
says now that I have commenced junior high, I am poised on the edge of a bigger world.”
    I frowned. “Middle-earth?”
    â€œYes, I asked that too. But it is not what she meant,” said Serge. “She explained that the world she refers to is strange and yet familiar, full of opportunity and disappointment, love and heartache. And now that it is before us, there is no turning back.” He stopped at a classroom door. “I have drama.” Without saying another word, he went inside for an hour of mime and improv. I shrugged off a creeping sense of unease. I was confident he’d get over his
maman
’s frankly bonkers statement and we’d be back to rooting out supervillains in no time.
    As I went off to math class, I turned the corner and collided with Lara. We hadn’t spoken since my outburst in the tree house, when I’d accused her of being a souped-up Snow White, so I was relieved when she saw me and smiled.
    â€œHi, Luke,” she said. “You wouldn’t believe the morning I’ve had!
Three
airplanes suffered catastrophic electrical faults, all at the same time.” She put out a hand and glided it downward, making a jet sound. “But you should’ve seen Zack. Whoosh, bosh, zap! I barely needed to use my pigeons at all. I’ll tell you all about it later. Don’t want to be late for class.”
    â€œSure,” I said dismally.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?” She paused, lifting a hand to search her hair. “I don’t have a hedgehog in there
again
, do I?”
    â€œNo. No hedgehog.”
    â€œLuke, are you OK?”
    â€œI’m fine. Firing on all thrusters,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m sorry for calling you a lame superhero.”
    â€œThat’s OK,” she said. “I know you didn’t mean it.”
    The truth was, I kind of did. A part of me was relieved that I had missed Zorbon’s latest visit, when he had given her such a silly superpower.
    Lara shuffled her feet and smiled at me shyly. “Luke, I want to tell you something. It’s kind of . . . awkward. It’s not something I expected to say to you, but—”
    Just then, two kids from her English class swung past, and Lara looked alarmed. Her tone changed. “Oh, I’m going to be late. Gotta shoot,” she said, hurrying off. “We should do lunch,” she called over her shoulder. “It’s veggie lasagna in the cafeteria tomorrow.” And with that she turned the corner and was gone.
    I stood in the empty corridor, thinking over what she’d just said. Apart from her acting all weird, two things bothered me. One, I hated veggie lasagna. Two, airplanes didn’t fall out of the sky for no reason.

The Salmon Fillet of Doom
    â€œNo more Star
Guy
for you, Luke Alfred Parker.”
    When Mom discovered what had happened at school, she hit the roof. She marched into my bedroom and removed the Xbox, informing me that I could have it back at the end of the break,
if
I managed to stay out of trouble until then. Brilliant. First no S.C.A.R.F., and