promise.
I
lifted Shane's aftershave off the dresser in front of me, sniffed the spray
release on top, and hoped he would be back soon.
It
bothered me that I didn't see this coming, that I didn't know Mike was capable
of being such a bad guy. But he wasn't as jealous and controlling in the
beginning.
Then
again, maybe he was, and I’d foolishly believed it was sweet.
I
sighed and looked at the framed picture atop the dresser of Shane and Izzy with
their parents on Christmas, each of them wearing an ugly sweater and a silly
grin. Their whole family had such a great sense of humor, and the photo
reminded me that I could probably get through anything as long as they were in
my life.
The
top drawer of the dresser was full of gym clothes, which made me recall the last
time I’d seen Shane all sweaty after a workout.
Why
didn't he have a girlfriend?
I
knew there were a few girls he fooled around with regularly, and he seemed to
choose between them when he needed a date for something- which was all the time
for frat guys.
For
a while, he was spending a lot of time with a Theta whose shiny hair went all
the way to her waist. The only thing longer was her legs and- I suspect- the
list of designer handbags she owned.
Then
there was the Chi Omega with the blue eyes, blonde hair, and tight gymnast’s
body. Worst of all, she actually seemed like a nice person, though I remember
throwing up in my mouth a little once when I heard her admit to someone in the
rec center that she and Shane were more than friends.
Lastly,
there was that Indian supermodel who was in all his finance courses. And the
fact that she was as intelligent as she was gorgeous- with her pretty brown
skin and her obscenely long lashes- probably made her my least favorite.
Not
that she wasn't an alright person. They were all alright. They just weren't
good enough for Shane. Their senses of humor fell short for one. Most
importantly, they didn't know and love him.
Not
like I did anyway.
I
still remember the day their family moved in down the street. My parents
brought over a pie or something just to "welcome them to the
neighborhood" (i.e. make a good first impression and let the new blood
know they were being watched).
Anyway,
when they got back, they told me the new neighbors had a little girl my age
that I could be friends with.
This
was great news because I was seven and three quarters and quite ready to expand
my social girl. Or rather, I felt that I’d outgrown the girl at the bottom of
the cul de sac who always seemed to have poison ivy.
But
when I met Izzy later that day and realized she had a twin brother, it felt
like Christmas morning.
Not
only had I never met real twins before- which made them instantly fascinating
to me- but when Shane showed me how he could burn a hole in a leaf with nothing
but a magnifying glass, I knew he was the one to deliver the excitement that
had been missing from my life.
Not
that my parents didn't do their best, but I was an only child and the result of
several costly rounds of IVF. As a result, they babied me so much that
sometimes I felt like I might as well have been properly bubble wrapped to save
my mom the extra hand wringing.
Every
time I got so much as a scratch, she would act like it was the end of the
world. She took me to the doctor for every fever, every sneeze, and every
goddamn hiccup.
The
worst, though, was if I bumped my head. She'd get so panicked I'd worry I lost
brain cells that were crucial to my living up to her academic expectations.
It
was so much pressure, and although I understood it, that didn't make it any
easier.
But
when the Jennings twins showed up on the scene, all that began to change. At
first I thought it was the fact that I finally had a little gang looking out
for me. But in hindsight, I suspect it was because Shane inspired so much
confidence in people.
Not
only was he eleven