My Beautiful Failure Read Online Free Page A

look happy. What’s wrong?”
    “The place seems great. It’s just that even though I have real-life experience they grouped me with the other high school students rather than the older volunteers.”
    “This is an important life lesson, Billy,” she said. “Do you know what you’re going to have to do?”
    “Threaten to quit?” I asked, stuffing the manual into my back pocket.
    “ Au contraire , my friend. This is no time to be a hothead.” She took off her reading glasses. I’ve been planning to hole up in my room, but this show of interest made me stop.
    “But I already know I’m good at helping people. I don’t deserve this treatment.”
    “You’re going to have to check that attitude at the door.”
    “How can I?”
    Mom laughed. She reached up and poked me. For a self-described bohemian, she had an oddly cheerleaderish side.
    “Because of your age, you’re going to have to work twice as hard as the others to prove yourself. It’s the same way for women and people of color. Now that I have Pudge’s files I have some inkling as to how much work he had to do to stay where he was.”
    “Half?” I asked, pulling up an ottoman to sit closer to Mom. This arrangement of couches and chairs Mom called the “conversation area,” and here Mom and I were, having our own conversation.
    “That’s right. Half as much as I did as assistant director, even when I worked a reduced schedule last winter.
    “Pudge had a lot of great ideas,” Mom continued, “but he left things half finished. It’s like some deity came along, plucked him from his desk at the Brooksbie, and lifted him, with clouds and angel choirs, to a perfect job at the Museum of New England Heritage. Anddid he worry about leaving a mess? No, he just declared victory and moved on. But some people are like that, never dotting the i’s or crossing the t’s. Our family has the opposite problem: We try too hard sometimes.”
    Mom was right. We tried everything to make Dad better, from antidepressants to nutritional supplements to light therapy. It had been a winter of dotting all our vowels.
    “Gggggg!”
    Linda stood in the hall, listening to our conversation.
    “Get out of here, Linda,” I say. “Mom and I are having a serious conversation about work.”
    “Linda, this isn’t the time,” Mom said.
    “Gggggg,” Linda warbled.
    “That’s enough, Linda,” said Mom, raking the earpiece of her glasses through her hair, a sign that she was annoyed. “Ignore your sister, Billy. Remember that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Every kick is a boost.”
    “Did they work you too hard at the Listerines?” Linda threw her head forward. “Guuuuuuuuugggh.”
    “Gigigigigig.” Jodie was beside her, gargling at a high pitch, so that they made harmony. They wore matching Justin Bieber nightshirts.
    “It’s nine thirty,” I complained. “What’s she doing here? Mom, don’t tell me she’s sleeping over.”
    “No wonder you’re so exhausted,” Linda said, widening her eyes and sounding like a sympathetic adult. “How many life-threatening cases of bad breath did you cure today?”
    Jodie tried to look serious but then crumpled. She laughed so hard, she couldn’t even gargle.
    “Cut it out! Both of you!” I pushed the ottoman back to the wall. My great private moment with Mom was shattered.
    “I’m sorry, Billy,” Jodie said. “But Linda’s so funny. She cracks me up and I can’t help it.”
    “Do you need to borrow a toothbrush, Jodie?” Linda put a hand on Jodie’s shoulder like she was showing her around the house. “Do you want a glass or some mouthwash?”
    “What brand do you have?” Jodie asked as they left.
    “So what do people say when they call?” Mom asked.
    “I haven’t started on the phones yet. But when I do I won’t tell you anything.” I mimed zipping my lip. I would stop there and leave her hanging. I went into my room with the handbook and closed the door.

12.
wrong with you
    I leaned