Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal! Read Online Free

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    When you don’t have a head.
    We covered up Striker’s grave, and Ryan said we should have a moment of silence in honor of our fallen superhero.
    It was really quiet. Then, in the middle of our moment of silence, Andrea said, “Boys are dumbheads.”

9
We Are Survivors
    Finally Mrs. Kormel fixed the flat tire and said we could get back on the bus. She was all sweaty, and her hair was messed up, and her hands were covered with grease. She looked too tired to be mad at me or Mr. Klutz or anybody else. She just got into her bus driver’s seat and hit thegas. The bus lurched forward, and we all fell back in our seats.
    It was really late. Andrea complained that we might have missed social studies. Ha-ha-ha! That was fine with me. I hate social studies. Why is it called social studies anyway?

    Mrs. Kormel was driving fast! We were far from school. It looked to me like we were still in the middle of nowhere. The road was really bumpy, and it was wet from the rain. Mrs. Kormel was havingtrouble keeping the bus in the middle of the road. I was afraid she might drive right off the side of the road.
    And what happened next was the most amazing thing in the history of the world.
    Do you want to know what happened?
    I’m not going to tell you.
    Well, okay, I’ll tell you.
    Mrs. Kormel drove right off the side of the road!
    â€œBix blattinger!” shouted Mrs. Kormel.
    The bus skidded to a stop. Some kids even fell out of their seats! It was hilarious. You should have been there.
    â€œIs everybody okay?” Mrs. Kormel asked.
    â€œYeah!” me and Michael and Ryan said.“That was fun. Can we do it again?”
    â€œWe’re stuck in a ditch,” said Mrs. Kormel. “We’re not going anywhere.”
    â€œWhat are we going to do now ?” asked Emily. She looked like she was going to cry. I was amazed that Emily hadn’t cried yet. She usually can’t go five minutes without crying about something .
    â€œI don’t know what to do,” Mrs. Kormel said sadly. “My cell phone is dead. I guess we’ll just have to wait for help to arrive.”
    â€œToo bad Striker Smith isn’t here,” I said. “He would know what to do.”
    â€œIf you hadn’t thrown that dumb doll out the window, none of this would have happened!” yelled Andrea.
    â€œHe’s not a doll!” I yelled right back at her.
    â€œZingy zip!” yelled Mrs. Kormel.
    Everybody was really depressed. We just sat there on the bus. There was nobody around. No houses. No stores. No nothing. Nobody was going to rescue us. It felt like we had been on the bus a million hundred hours.

    It occurred to me that we might not only miss the rest of the school day, we might miss the rest of our lives ! We could sit there forever. We could die out there!
    Suddenly I felt hungry. I wished I hadn’t given my sandwich to that first grader. I was starving. I was afraid my stomach might eat itself.

    My friend Billy who lives around thecorner from me and was in second grade last year told me he once heard about some guy who was stranded on an airplane, and he ate a seat cushion to survive.
    â€œWe might have to eat the seat cushions,” I told Michael and Ryan.
    Ryan looked at the seat cushion.
    There’s something you need to know about Ryan. He will eat anything, even stuff that is not food. One time we gave him a dollar to eat dirt.
    Ryan got down on the floor and took a little bite from the corner of the cushion.
    â€œUgh,” he said. “It’s horrible.”
    â€œPut some ketchup on it,” suggested Michael. “Ketchup makes anything taste good.”

    Michael gave Ryan a little ketchup packet from his lunch bag. Ryan put it on the seat cushion and took a tiny bite.
    â€œIt’s not bad, actually,” Ryan said.
    Ryan is weird.
    It was so boring sitting there waiting for somebody to rescue us. I almost wished we were at school.