Moonglow Read Online Free Page A

tell you,” I say, picking up my clothes and bringing them over to my closet.
    â€œYou can tell me the little, non-dramatic things too, you know,” she says. “They have a habit of growing into really big, uncontrollable things if you ignore them for too long.”
    I get the sense that, whether I ignore what’s going on inside of me or pay attention, the outcome is still going to be the same. Because the truth is I’m no longer in control; someone else has power over me; someone else is leading me on a journey into the unknown. Oh my God! If Jess could really read my mind, if anyone could, they’d think I was a lunatic. I have to fight this; I have to focus and take back the reins. My father taught me that the best way to take back control of your life when the world around you starts to get too complicated is to make one simple change. Something physical, specific, and uncomplicated.
    â€œI have to paint that wall a new color,” I say, pointing to the wall behind Jess.
    She’s back on my bed leaning against the headboard, and the white frame looks faded against the freshly painted walls. Could the best way to let go of the pink be to replace it? Or am I that afraid to live in emptiness?
    â€œWhat do you think of teal?” I ask.
    Kneeling on my bed, Jess does a 360-degree turn to take in the whole room and imagine what one teal wall would look like. It doesn’t make the cut.
    â€œToo much like turquoise,” she replies. “And do you really want to sleep under a wall that’s the color of reservation jewelry?”
    She’s got a point. “What about a bronzy brown?” I say, getting suddenly excited. My enthusiasm is not contagious.
    â€œDom, brown is great for eye shadow,” Jess informs. “But on walls, it just looks like dirt.”
    Jess is getting on my nerves again. I don’t understand it, I don’t like it, but it’s the truth. I know she’s going to come up with a solution—she always has and she always will—but right now she is frustrating the hell out of me, and I have to fold my hands behind my back or risk slapping her across the face.
    I mimic Jess and look around my room as if I’m appraising the area to come up with the perfect wall color. That’s what she might be doing, but I’m just trying to keep my mouth shut so I don’t say something bitchy.
    During the silence a little slice of moonlight spills into the room. Its reach isn’t long, but the tiny bit that lingers next to the window is strong and looks like a silver plank that leads from my bedroom to the moon itself. I feel a tug at my heart and wonder if the plank is sturdy enough to hold my weight, if I could walk on the moonbeam until I’m out of sight of Jess and everyone on earth. A warm sensation comes over me that reminds me of my mother’s touch, and I take it as a sign that I should start walking, that I should begin my journey right here and now. Before I can say my good-byes, Jess crosses in front of me and blots out the moonlight, destroying my chance of escape.
    These are the kinds of foolish, out-of-the-blue thoughts I’ve been having lately. I don’t know where they’re coming from, but these ideas ignite even more complicated feelings, feelings that are better kept hidden and not shared. Better to keep my thoughts simple and focused on finding a wall color solution. Finally Jess does.
    â€œOrange!” she squeals.
    Orange? Didn’t I read somewhere that orange is the new pink? “That’ll work.”
    â€œOf course it will. I’m a genius when it comes to design!” she squeals once more. “Just lose the banner.”
    â€œNo!”
    Over my headboard hangs the banner for our football team. Truth is, I know nothing about football, I don’t really like the sport, but I’m the girlfriend of the quarterback, so it’s my duty to keep a banner of our team in my room.