Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice Read Online Free Page B

story. The person who introduced me to Neuro-Linguistic
Programming (NLP - the folks who have mastered learning
modalities) commented that until he understood about this process, he would get furious at his wife for coming up behind him
and putting her hands on his shoulders while he was reading at
his desk. He later came to understand that she was a kinesthetic
learner and was expressing her love for him through touch. He,
though, was a high-visual learner who would get completely
absorbed in reading. The act of being touched at that time not
only broke his concentration, but also broke his emotional state
- he didn't like to be touched.
    There are many ways of understanding how you and/or your
partner understand things. For more information about learning
styles, try a Google search on "learning modalities."
    Been married?
    • How did that work out? Are you still friends with your
husband/wife? Is there more than one ex? Were
there similar problems with each marriage? Are you
carrying problems from one mate to the next? How
could you change to make this new relationship different from prior relationships? Without changing yourself, have you ever considered that this is as good as
it gets?
    • What's causing the breakups? Have you spent time
thinking about what went wrong? Have you had help
thinking this through - been through some therapy?
If yes, can you express what you learned and how
you changed? If not, what makes you think you won't
repeat the patterns you went through before?
    • Did you nurture your prior spouse or partner? Can you
explain how they grew under your care - either as the
Dominant or submissive in the relationship? Did YOU
do all the growing? Did THEY do all the growing?

    • What will you do this time that will be different?
What have you learned over the years? Remember
Einstein's comment: the definition of insanity is "doing
the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
    How's your work history?
    • Do you have a history that demonstrates stability or
transience?
    • Do you have a history of working well with small groups
and with your peers over a long period? If not, what
makes you think you can lead a slave?
    • Have you had special training in managing people?
Do you read body language easily? How are you on
picking up non-verbal cues?
    • Are you a visionary or an implementor? Think about
that one: if you're an implementor at work, how do you
become a visionary leader in your M/s relationship?
    Do you have "leadership power?"
    • Are you able to get tough when the situation demands
it?
    • Are you able fully to show your human qualities instead
of wearing a mask?
    • Do you have a clear vision for your future?
    • Do you share your vision with the people who follow
you - bringing them enthusiasm, high energy and conviction?
    • In a work setting, when subordinates ask for directions
or decisions, are you able to direct and decide without
delay?

    What do You Seek?
    At the risk of proposing polor extremes, consider some of
these:
    • Do you seek a servant to follow all your orders and
whims or do you seek a cherished partner who
expresses love through service?
    • Do you seek a live-in sex object or do you seek a spiritual partner with whom you have hot sex?
    • Do you seek an invisible chef and maid or a personal
assistant with privileges?
    Hazy goals produce hazy results. Clearly define your goals.
Write them down, make a plan for achieving them, set a deadline,
visualize the results, and go after them. Doubtless you've heard
the aphorism: What gets written down gets done.
    Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is
a nightmare.
    Japanese proverb
    Can you describe the life/lifestyle you seek?
    You are going to have to tease out the building blocks of this
kind of structured relationship. You can't drift into a Master/slave
relationship. You will have to design this lifestyle - you can't