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meal.”
    Maud flashed her dentures at Laura. “I’m breaking them in. They have trouble with bacon, but I think I could probably give you a savage bite if you don’t give me my money back. Or maybe I’ll set my new honey on you.”
    “New honey?”
    Meg grabbed Maud’s arm and dragged her inside. “Don’t ask, Laura. Believe me, you don’t want her to tell you.”
    Laura grimaced. “Coffee?”
    They all traipsed through to the kitchen. Meg sat on a stool at the counter and Maud excused herself to use the bathroom. Laura switched the coffee pot on and glared at Meg. “Why is she with you?”
    “Where else would she be? You know she got tossed out of St. Andrews after the Michael Monaghan affair.”
    Laura grinned. “That was hardly an affair. By all accounts he was as limp as a worm on a hook.”
    “That’s not funny. I might go to jail, and knowing my luck, I’d be locked up in a cell with Maud and her out of control libido, listening to stories from her sordid past until I have a brain hemorrhage and die from the horror stored in my head.”
    “You look tense.”
    “Tense! Tense! You have no idea what life is like living with her. She’s driving us nuts. I need you to take her off my hands for a couple of hours.”
    Laura held up her beautifully manicured hands. “No way, girlfriend. The freak show is your relative.”
    “You owe me. This is all because of you. I could have told the police the whole male escort business was your idea, and that you hired Michael out to Maud, but I didn’t.”
    Laura patted her cheek. “I know, that was so sweet of you. I’ll love you forever for not dragging me through the crap.”
    “What about the crap you dropped me in?” Meg folded her arms and glared at Laura. “It’s not too late for me to change my story and tell the police the whole deal.”
    “You wouldn’t.”
    “If I don’t get some time alone without Maud sometime soon there is no telling what I might do.”
    “Alone, or alone with Sam?”
    “None of your damn business.”
    Laura laughed. “I think a good orgasm or two would relax you to no end, let you see life from a whole new angle, preferably one you haven’t tried before.”
    Meg felt heat rush to her face. “I am not discussing my sex life with you.”
    Maud wandered into the room. “What sex life? She doesn’t have one. She spends all her time in the bathroom talking to herself and eating ice cream. She even had her sandals on in there this morning. I think she’s getting dementia. My cousin Ellie’s mental issues started with her wearing her underpants in the bath.”
    Eyebrow raised, Laura stared at Meg. “Sandals in the shower and talking to yourself. You must be sick, unless you had a good reason for your strange behavior?”
    A flush warmed Meg’s cheeks. Without a shadow of a doubt Laura knew exactly what had been going on in the bathroom, even if Maud didn’t. Now she was embarrassed and they hadn’t even had sex, well not real sex.
    Maud held up a sparkly pink rabbit vibrator. “Can I try this?”
    Relief flooded through Meg. Maud was her unwitting savior. Her best friend was well aware she’d started sleeping with Sam before Maud showed up, but she didn’t need Laura to let on to Maud. If the old lady suspected her and Sam were more than roommates, the few minutes they managed alone for a quick kiss and grope would be over.
    Laura’s faced turned a violent shade of red and she snatched the offending item from Maud. “What were you doing in my bathroom cupboard?”
    “Looking for a plunger. There’s something wrong with your toilet. Looks like someone used too much toilet paper and the whole thing is all backed up.”
    “My toilet was fine earlier, besides that doesn’t give you the right to go poking through my stuff.”
    “If you don’t want people to look at your sex toys, you should put them somewhere safe.”
    “It was in the drawer and this is not a sex toy.”
    Eyebrows raised, Maud chuckled. “Really?