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That’s what Mrs. Bronski in number seventeen told her George when he asked. It looks just like the vibrator she had. She said it was better than any man she ever met. She got it from the sex shop at Eastlands. Apparently, they have some huge penises in that store. I never saw them when I went to buy lubricant and rubbers. Mrs. Bronski told me one of these comes with guaranteed satisfaction every time, and as well as giving you a good time, the head works wonders on her arthritis when she uses it to massage her knees. Funny how telling your husband a lie can have such a happy ending. I could take this in exchange for the money you owe me.”
    Laura rushed from the room and Meg got up and filled three cups with coffee. She put them on the table and told Maud to sit while she got milk and sugar. By the time Laura got back, they were sitting waiting for her.
    Meg shoved a full cup in Laura’s direction. “So, when can you take her?”
    Laura frowned. “You’re serious?”
    Maud shoveled a fourth spoonful of sugar into her cup. “What? What was she serious about?”
    “Nothing, Aunt Maud. Drink your coffee. We might need to drop by the police station later.”
    “Oh goody. I love those guys. They’ve got such pinch-able butts.”
    “Okay, okay. I’ll take her off your hands for a couple of hours tomorrow afternoon. She can help me shop for a new outfit for the opening.”
    “What opening?” Meg wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer, but the comment was obviously an invitation to ask the question.

Chapter Six
    It took every ounce of self-control for Meg not to roll her eyes. Laura was off on another hare-brained scheme, but there was no way Meg was going to get involved. No way, no how. Her life was in the toilet already, thanks to her buying into Laura’s last business idea.
    “Meg, are you listening? The whole deal is in the bag. I’ve got an appointment with the bank manager at two. I only need another fifty thousand to go with the money I got from the estate of Martha Jenkins. I can get the whole thing tied up by the end of the week.”
    “We don’t know anything about running a bar. We’re in advertising.”
    “You used to be in advertising, until you got the sack.” They both glared at Maud. “What? What did I say? According to your mother, you sucked at your job.” She pointed an arthritic finger at Laura. “And she wasn’t much better.”
    “My mother has no idea about my life. I was great at marketing. I had some brilliant promo ideas.”
    Maud chuckled. “I saw you both dressed as cheese wedges at Foodland last year. Believe me, you even sucked at being sour milk.”
    Meg folded her arms and glared at the old lady. “We were testing the market.”
    “Bullshit. You should listen to the hussy, she’s got balls, unlike that useless male she tried to sell me.”
    Why did everyone think Meg needed help to sort out her life? She had things under control. She planned to surf the net later and apply for some jobs. The only thing holding her back was having to take Maud everywhere with her. She daren’t leave her at home alone. Maud had moved into St. Andrews because she had a habit of setting things alight. The first time she left the toast on so long it burst into flames she claimed it was an accident. But when she managed to set fire to one of her famous wigs while making a cup of tea, the family had decided to save her from herself. Until Meg found a new home for Maud, there would be little chance of her finding employment and her bank account would remain empty. Without Sam paying the rent for both of them, she’d be homeless. She never wanted him to have to keep her, but thanks to Laura and Maud, she had no choice unless she wanted to move back in with her parents. And now Laura planned to embark on another disastrous business venture.
    She knew no one could talk Laura out of the idea, no matter what they said to her. Once she got something into her head, she was immovable. No way did