Love in the Time of Zombies Read Online Free

So what if we don’t eat lobster thermidor or go dancing at the Rainbow Room? Two or three good quotes and I’m done. And maybe a cute anecdote about how I stumbled over his briefcase and babbled an apology.”
    Cammie stares at me again, but I know better than to get into a contest. “You realize you’re insane, right?” she says. “That isn’t breaking news.”
    Just then, a black SUV turns left into the parking lot. Since it’s the third such vehicle in an hour, I’m pretty sure this is how the human male donors arrive. The car must pick them up and chauffer them to the facility, where they fulfill their patriotic duty before being driven back home.
    â€œI still don’t get why I’m here.”
    â€œI wanted company.”
    â€œOkay, but why me?”
    â€œBecause you’re a student.”
    â€œAt the police academy,” she says, with particular emphasis.
    â€œYeah, so you have the inside track.”
    â€œYou want inside track? How about this: Illegally entering a Class-A government facility carries a ten-year sentence at a maximum-security prison.”
    The driver of the SUV pulls up to the retina-scanning machine, lowers her window, and leans forward. She waits a moment, then pulls something from the machine. The item could very well be a receipt or a ticket, but from this distance I can’t definitively rule out a super-thin candy bar.
    â€œIs the maximum-security prison the one where they give you the cute orange jumpsuits? Because I look surprisingly good in orange.”
    Cammie lets out a sigh so hefty I worry for her lungs. She throws her hand up into the air as she shifts again in her seat. Now her sneakers are on the armrest. “You know what? I’m not worried. I’m not worried. There’s no way you’re going to get past that front gate. You can’t beat the retina scan, and you can’t climb the fence because it’s ten feet high and covered with barbed wire. So at worst you’ll get a loitering fine, which is only a misdemeanor.”
    While she talks, a black SUV emerges from the depths of the parking lot and I catch a glimpse of a bearded man in the back seat before the dark-tinted windows erase him completely.
    A plan begins to percolate.
    â€œI don’t have to beat the retina scan. You see that SUV?” I point at the dark vehicle as the gate rises to let it pass. “That’s how the sperm donors get in and out of the facility. In those black SUVs that have been arriving every twenty minutes. So if I can steal my way into the back of one of those, the Provisional Government Authority will drive me right through the gate. Once in the parking garage, I’ll sneak in the front door. All I need is a white lab coat to blend in. Do you have one I could borrow?” I ask Cammie, but she’s too busy staring out her window to respond. “Never mind. I can pick one up at a medical supply store or off the Internet. Then all I have to do is find a human male, convince him not to call security, charm him into having a date, snap a few selfies of us sharing rice pudding in the cafeteria, sneak out of the building, and creep back into the SUV without anyone being the wiser.”
    â€œYeah, you could do that,” Cammie says, her eyes still focused on the window, which she taps lightly with her knuckles. “Or you could just go into that restaurant across the street and have lunch.”
    With a sharp turn of my head, I follow her gaze. The black SUV, whose movements I had been following so closely, was now parked in front of the trattoria. Two women in standard PGA guard uniforms are escorting the bearded man into the building.
    I squeal with excitement. “Omigod! Omigod! I love you, Cammie. I will love you until the day I die.”
    She shrugs.

    The unzombified human male is beautiful. His cheeks are so non-mottled, his forehead so non-rotted, his chin not even a bit rancid.