Just Crazy Read Online Free

seems to calm him down.
    â€˜And it’s even worse that you compound your crime by eating my chocolate.’
    â€˜Yes, Dad.’
    â€˜But then to waste it on the dog — that is really stupid!’
    â€˜Yes, Dad.’
    â€˜And then to blame the poor dog!’
    â€˜Yes, Dad.’
    â€˜Do you really expect me to believe that hewent into the laundry, opened the cupboard door, pulled the chocolates out, carried them to the lounge room and unwrapped them all by himself? What do you take me for — an idiot?’

    â€™Yes, Dad.’
    â€˜What!?’
    Oops. Sometimes it’s better not to agree.
    â€˜I mean, no, Dad.’
    Now he’s really mad.
    â€˜Clean up this mess,’ he says. ‘And you can replace what you have eaten out of your own pocket money’.
    â€˜Yes, Dad.’
    He turns and leaves the room.
    I look at Sooty.
    â€˜This is your fault,’ I say.
    â€˜Yeah,’ says Danny. ‘It’s all your fault.’
    Sooty just sits down and scratches himself. He doesn’t care.
    â€˜The least you could do is be sick!’ I say.
    He stares back at me.
    â€˜Come on, Sooty!’ I say. ‘Be sick!’
    â€˜It’s not working,’ says Danny.
    Suddenly I have a brainwave. I’m not a smoker or anything, but I did have a puff once. I was with my cousin, David. He said I should learn to smoke because it reallyimpresses girls. But I didn’t impress anybody. All I did was cough so much that I was sick. If I can get Sooty to smoke a cigarette then maybe it will have the same effect on him.
    â€˜It doesn’t matter,’ I say to Danny. ‘I’ve got a better idea. Let’s make him smoke.’

    â€˜Is he old enough?’ says Danny.
    â€˜He is in dog years,’ I say. ‘Come on.’
    I grab Sooty by the collar, drag him outside and lock him underneath the house.
    â€˜Wait there,’ I say. ‘We’ll be back in a minute.’
    We go out into the street and search the nature strip for butts. We find a couple and go back under the house. It’s very cramped and dark and we have to double over.
    I find a box of barbecue matches and light one of the butts. I suck the smoke back.
    It tastes horrible. I cough so hard I almost throw up. Perfect!
    I offer the butt to Sooty but he turns his head away. I try to put it in his mouth but he just keeps moving his head from side to side.
    â€˜Come on, Sooty,’ I wheeze. ‘Think how cool you’ll look when you learn to smoke. And how tough. The girl dogs will all go for you for sure.’

    â€˜Isn’t this a bit cruel?’ says Danny. ‘I mean, won’t it stunt his growth?’
    â€˜He’s short already,’ I say. ‘He can hardly get any shorter.’
    â€˜But what if he gets hooked?’ says Danny.
    â€˜Then we’ll ring the Quit line,’ I say. ‘But first we’ll get our aliens back.’
    But Sooty has other ideas. He jerks his head away from me and knocks the butt out of my hands. It falls into my lap.
    â€˜Ahhhh!’ I scream. I jump up.
    WHACK!
    My head hits the roof.
    â€˜Ouch!’ I yell.
    â€˜Andy?’ calls Mum. ‘Is that you under there?’
    â€˜No, Mum,’ I say, hoping that she will believe me and go away.
    â€˜Are you smoking?’
    â€˜No,’ I say.
    â€˜Then why can I smell smoke?’ she says.
    â€˜It’s Sooty,’ I say. ‘We’re trying to get him to stop but he won’t listen.’
    â€˜Andy, get out here this minute!’ says Mum.
    We all crawl out.
    Mum is standing there with her hands on her hips.
    â€˜That’s the most pathetic excuse I’ve ever heard,’ she says. ‘When are you going to grow up and start taking responsibility for your actions?’
    â€˜But, Mum . . .’ I say.
    â€˜No, listen to me,’ says Mum. ‘I know you think it looks cool, and tough, and that it will make girls