I Dream Of Johnny (novella) Read Online Free

a grunt to try and pull it down his arm, but it only moved a smidgen.
    “Is everything alright in there?” a voice spoke through a crack in the dressing area door.
    “Oh yes...” I said in between grunts. “We’re almost done!” Jonathan held onto the clothes hook for leverage and I yanked the sleeve off, his arm bumping me in the chest and the hook coming off the wall.
    “Oops,” he said, holding the hook awkwardly in his hand.
    “Quick, let’s get this thing off and get out of here!” I yanked at the other sleeve and freed his arm, then closed the door as he removed the oversized pants and shirt. I plucked the magic lamp from my bag and typed in a search for why do clothes keep changing size on the person you sent me?
    No results found. Please contact customer service for assistance.
    When Jonathan emerged dressed again in his geeky get-up, I tried to shove the hook back in the wall but it wouldn’t take. So I grabbed the clothes and dashed out to the sales floor, dumping them as delicately as possible into the sales person’s hands.
    “I’m sorry, I’ve just had an emergency phone call and have to leave immediately.” I feigned a look of immense worry —which didn’t take much effort considering my circumstances —and ushered Jonathan outside.
    “But I thought we were buying clothes.”
    “I thought so too.” I gave Jonathan another squashed mint to chew, dialled the customer service number and waited, wondering who on Earth (or some other planet) would answer my call.
    “Welcome to World of Wishes. Press 1 for sales, 2 for accounts, and 3 for customer assistance.”
    I pressed 3.
    “All our virtual genies are busy with other calls right now, but your call is very important to us. So we can help you best, please speak clearly and tell us why you are calling.”
    “Oh, c’mon!” I rolled my eyes, while Jonathan kept himself occupied counting the cars driving past.
    “I’m sorry, can you say that again? Our system could not understand your message.”
    I held back a laugh. This was like calling a telephone company. I swallowed a lump of disbelief and spoke. “I tried to buy new clothes for the fashion un-conscious geek you sent me but they kept changing size.”
    “Right, so you’re trying to buy new clothes but you’re an unconscious geek who keeps changing size? Say ‘yes’ to confirm or ‘no’ to start again.”
    Holy mother of God. “No.”
    “Please tell us why you are calling.”
    “My geek cannot wear any new clothes!” I shouted.
    “Right, so you’re Greek and not wearing any clothes?”
    Oh geez, now they choose to get the Greek word correct! “No!”
    “Please tell us why you are calling.”
    Okay, calm down and speak simply and clearly, Mandy. “I wished for a Geek God and tried to buy him new clothes. Why don’t they fit?” I dragged each word out slowly and separately, attracting a few awkward glances from passersby.
    “Right, so you’re trying to buy new clothes for your Geek God but they don’t fit?”
    “Yes!” Finally.
    “Please wait while we transfer your call to an appropriate genie... I’m sorry, all our virtual genies are busy with other calls right now, but your call is...” I removed the phone from my ear and tipped my head back in frustration. As odd music kept my call on hold I walked with Jonathan for a couple of blocks, then bought him a vegetarian wrap that he salivated over as we approached a window display of lunch treats. Who gets excited by a vegetarian wrap? I bought a sausage roll for myself and prompted Jonathan to use a paper napkin as a sliver of zucchini slid down his chin.
    “Thank you for waiting, I understand you’re trying to buy new clothes for your Geek God but they don’t fit?” An unnatural-sounding voice asked over the phone. I hoped the genies had a better understanding of the English language than the system I’d dealt with initially.
    “Yes, why do the clothes keep changing size?”
    “Let me process your