I Dream Of Johnny (novella) Read Online Free Page A

concern...” The odd music returned and I waited again. “It appears your problem is due to item four thousand and sixty one in section three hundred and fifty two of part two of our terms and conditions: One cannot change the appearance of one’s wish. What you wish is what you get.”
    “Huh? So I can’t even get him a new hairstyle?”
    The genie repeated the earlier statement from the terms and conditions and I hung up. I eyed Jonathan for a moment then grabbed his glasses. They remained firmly attached to his face. I ruffled his hair but it instantly manoeuvred itself back to its comb-over. I wasn’t prepared to get his sideburns shaved off only to have new hair sprout right in front of the hairdresser and try to explain what was going on. Nope, there’d be no makeover for Jonathan what’s-his-name. He’d be staying just the way he was. His socks and sandalled feetand I would be walking into that church this afternoon whether I liked it or not. Maybe I could pray for a miracle. I sure as hell — I mean heaven —needed one.

Chapter 4
    I dragged Jonathan away from the weary taxi driver whose ears had been practically eroded by Jonathan’s non-stop commentary about the history of vehicular transportation, and stomped up the steps to my house. My neighbour, Mrs Kramer, nodded a hello as she sat on the wicker chair on her verandah, its frame just as wiry and fragile as her body. Jonathan noticed the woman and approached the hedges dividing our yards.
    “Hello there, I’m Jonathan Fortran Schnecklmyer.” He held out a hand.
    “Oh, I’d come over and shake your hand but I’m afraid the old rheumatoid arthritis won’t let me.” She smiled an apology. “But it’s nice to meet you, Jonathan.”
    Wish I had that excuse. Better yet, I wish he had that excuse.
    Jonathan dropped his hand to his side. “Rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune disease, mostly causing inflammation of the joints with synovial hyperplasia and pannus formation. I can see that you’re badly affected. You’ve most likely lost much of your articular cartilage, and ankylosis is setting in.” He pointed to her unmoving, knobbly, and mildly deformed fingers.
    “Jonathan!” I scolded, tugging on his arm and ushering him towards the front door. I mouthed a “sorry” at Mrs Kramer and shut the door behind us as we entered the house. “It’s not nice to tell people those things!”
    “I was simply informing her about her medical condition. Knowledge is power, you know.”
    “I’m sure she already knows a lot about her condition, and it doesn’t do any good to emphasise the problem. Now go and sit down, I need a drink.”
    “Oh, I’ll get it —”
    “No! Sit. I’ll get it.” I poured a glass of red and sculled it, then headed for the bathroom. “I have to get ready for the wedding. My computer’s over there,” I pointed at the messy desk against the wall. “Go play...um...” What do geeks play? “...a game or something.”
    I locked myself in the bathroom, thankful I could at least leave him alone in a different room, if not a different building. Soothing jets of water streamed down my skin and I wished Dan wasn’t coming to the wedding, but he was good mates with Jodie’s fiancé —that’s how we’d met. With any luck he wouldn’t think Jonathan and I were together. With any luck, no one would think Jonathan and I were together.
    I turned off the water flow when repeated knocking sounded on the bathroom door.
    “Mandy.”
    Knock-knock-knock.
    “Mandy.”
    Knock-knock-knock.
    “Mandy.”
    Knock-knock-knock.
    Great, he was channelling his inner Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory.
    “What do you want?”
    “May I turn on your television and watch Science Weekly?”
    “Yes, Jonathan, turn on the TV. Now please let me get ready in peace.”
    A moment later, a monotone voice discussing something to do with genetic modification travelled through the walls, and I drowned it out by turning the shower back on. I