Harry Putter and the Chamber of Cheesecakes Read Online Free Page B

combined.  Serious Smack was a clown, and Uncle Vermin was very afraid of clowns. 
     
                “There is a whole ’nother package of Reese’s in the cupboard,” replied Uncle Vermin both a little smug and a little afraid that Harry might be insulted by his smugness.
                “Oh,” Harry blinked repeatedly.  “Well then, bring me some and some chocolate milk, too.”
     
                A little later Harry was outside relaxing by the pool in a chaise lounge.  He ate his snack while reading his quibbage comic again.  He noticed the ad in it for the latest Spiderman comic, and became annoyed.  It reminded him that he didn’t get the subscription to Spiderman that he had asked for as a birthday present.  It was just one more thing that the Dirtleys did wrong this summer.  When Aunt Hachooie came outside with a new package of peanut butter cups, she had sweat on her brow.  Harry said, “Thanks, can you be a dear and run out and get me the latest Spiderman comic?  It just came out yesterday.”
                Aunt Hachooie sighed as she headed back out again, reciting her mantra to herself, “Only three more days…. only three more days….”
                Harry decided to go inside and play some Nintendo.  On the way in, another goat showed up, this one was much bigger and older.  The goat had a letter in its mouth, which Harry grabbed, thinking, “What now?”
                He noticed the official Hogwashes seal and opened it immediately.  His jaw dropped as he read it.  Finally saying aloud in disbelief to no one but himself, “School has been canceled?”
     

 

Chapter 2 - Conspiracy
     
                 “Something can’t be right.  Hogwashes can’t close!” 
                What could have happened to cause school to be closed this year?  Was Grumblesnore in trouble?  Was Caramelly Fudge somehow behind this?  Harry still couldn’t believe it.  No matter how much better this summer had been compared to every summer he had ever had before, no matter how much fun it was torturing the Dirtleys both physically and mentally, he was still greatly looking forward to going back to school, seeing his friends, just being where he belonged, and of course having another adventure.  He and his fans expected no less.  He folded the letter and put it in the back pocket of his jeans, which were incidentally about four inches shorter than they should have been, and decided that if it was still there later, then this couldn’t be just a bad dream. 
                In the den, he absentmindedly turned on the television.  Some commercial was on for breakfast cereal.  He switched on the Nintendo, changed the channel to 4 and started playing Zombie King II, Die Again Evil Dead.  Suddenly, the same stupid elf hawking breakfast cereal was there again in the middle of his game.  When most commercials had music and lots of loud talking, this one was strangely silent.  All he could hear was the background music to Zombie King II.  He took a closer look.  It looked a lot like Bobby the elf, but wearing a box of cereal instead of clothes.  Elves naturally didn’t wear clothes, clothes being a human convention.  However, those that served humans usually attempt to attire in something, as humans tend to stare, making them feel naked when they are naked.  Elves typically are not very particular in what they choose to wear.  Kitchen-Elves generally wear empty sacks of flour, Laboratory-Elves sometimes wear rubber gloves, and Shoemaking-Elves typically wear old socks.  However, Elves do wear uniforms if required by their masters, and a lot of them do like to have their elven servants dressed in a manner that reflects tastefully on the household they serve.
                “Is this some kind of commercial?” Harry asked perplexed.
                The elf in the cereal box timidly spoke up,