Harry Putter and the Chamber of Cheesecakes Read Online Free Page A

Harry go, and rewrite the laws, which would take a very long time, as the Department of Wizard Affairs is in many ways slower than the British parliamentary system.  Why it was almost the end of summer, and they still hadn’t even managed to stop sending the automatic warning notices by goat post. 
                Harry had foiled them yet again.
     
                He snapped out of his reverie, Mudley was gone.  Harry wasn’t feeling quite as angry anyway.  Uncle Vermin had come into the living room, waddling in from the kitchen with the fire extinguisher. 
                Uncle Vermin was a large, neckless man, with a purple complexion that made him look like he was long overdue for a massive heart attack. He was surprisingly calm considering his coffee table was ablaze.  Harry almost didn’t notice the peanut butter cup sticking out of Uncle Vermin’s mouth, – almost.  As Uncle Vermin let loose with the fire extinguisher, Harry gave him a kick in the pants. 
                “Eat the last Reese’s?  I oughta get my friends over here to teach you a lesson, you fat lard!  You remember my friends, don’t you?”
                Harry was of course referring to his friends in The Order of the Harry Putter Fan Club, who had escorted him home after school last June.  They had given Uncle Vermin a stern warning not to mistreat Harry.  There was Mad Dog Hooty, Frommundigus Filcher, Kingsley Shuckthecorn, Wrestlemania Trunks, Rhomulus Loopin, and Fabulous Butterpants, – all diehard Harry Putter fans.  They spent most of their time discussing and debating the trivial details of Harry Putter’s many adventures, and knew everything about Harry.  They were very useful at times and completely overprotective of their idol.  All Harry had to do was send a note by goat, and his friends would storm the house, and give his Uncle the thrashing of his life.  He wasn’t sure that they wouldn’t end up killing Uncle Vermin.   Harry didn’t want that, and really hadn’t needed their help so far this summer.
                “Oh, yes, Harry, but I ….” started Uncle Vermin. 
                “You know the one with that evil eyeball?   He’s an escaped killer and head of the wizard mafia.”  Harry embellished Mad Dog Hooty’s reputation.  In reality, Mad Dog Hooty did have an evil eyeball, was the world’s greatest Auditor, and had the scars to prove it, though now he was retired.
                “Yes, but ….” started Uncle Vermin again.
                “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t call my friends here to lay some Serious Smack down on you!” said Harry getting himself worked up again. 
                Serious Smack was his Uncle and godfather. A pang of regret seized Harry, using his dead uncle’s name, for he had only met his uncle once, briefly.  Harry had wanted desperately to get to know his Uncle Serious, however, his uncle seemed to desperately not want to get to know Harry.  He managed to escape Harry the one time Harry met him, had eluded his every attempt to meet him after that, and had unfortunately died recently. 
                All Harry had to remind him of the uncle he never knew was his John Deere 2000 lawnmower.  Serious Smack had given it to Harry as a bribe.  He sent it to Harry one Christmas with a note asking Harry to take the lawnmower, leave him alone, and stop trying to find him.  Harry couldn’t help himself; he kept the lawnmower and kept trying to locate his uncle.  In the end, Serious Smack died suddenly in a bizarre circus tragedy while trying to escape from Harry.  It was all Harry’s fault that his uncle was dead.  If only he hadn’t pushed, hadn’t persistently kept trying to find him, he would still be alive today.  However, Uncle Vermin didn’t know he was dead, and was more scared of Serious Smack then all Harry’s other weird friends