inflict pain on the spirit for as long as we want, with no purpose except to draw out the torture.”
She rubbed her face and continued. “A spirit killed my great-grandmother. My great-grandfather began writing exorcisms the next day. He never bothered to develop an incantation that would help a ghost move on. In his journal, he stated they didn’t deserve such mercy, that earth-bound spirits were inherently evil. Considering the number of malicious spirits that roam the earth, every generation has subscribed to his teachings without much question. It does seem that the majority spirits go insane and turn violent if stuck in this world.”
“I see.” Dutch shivered. The grief-stricken exorcist had been a bigot to judge all spirits in such a condemning way, but he hadn’t been far off the mark. The few other spirits Dutch had run into had been reservoirs of malice, intent on playing deadly games with the living. Thankfully, they’d all had such a low power level that the humans had noticed only cold drafts and strange noises, at most.
“I hate it,” she bit out. “It’s torture and forever destroys a human soul, yet we perform them at the drop of a hat.” She lifted a hand to her forehead. “Sorry. I’m… I can’t believe how much I don’t want to do this!”
He blinked, touched her arm, and pulled her to a stop. “What are you talking about?”
She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. “I believe we perform too many exorcisms without being certain the spirit deserves such an end. For years, I’ve been researching, trying to write an incantation that would send spirits on to the next world without hurting them, to heaven or hell or wherever they’re supposed to go, like you say. I’ve failed so far. Recently, a spirit I thought was innocent tricked me, and my beliefs got an innocent woman killed.” She nodded and straightened her spine. “So… Let’s get going.”
He stared after her as she strode off ahead. Someone had been killed? “ What? ”
She stopped but didn’t turn. Her shoulders slumped.
“How’d she die?”
“The ghost I refused to exorcise,” she said, spitting the words.
Dutch rejoined her and reached out to touch her arm, but she took a step back.
“I need to finish this job,” she said, her voice firm but bitter. “If I don’t do my job again , people will get hurt or killed.”
“You were trying to find a better way to do that job,” he said slowly, choosing his words with care.
“It didn’t work.” She resumed walking. “I wish it had, but it didn’t.”
“It was worth the attempt. You didn’t kill that woman. You gave a spirit a second chance and he chose what to do with it.”
“I enabled him. By not exorcising him, I gave him the opportunity.”
“Bull. Every person you meet on the street could hurt someone someday. It’s not your fault if you think better of them.”
She stared at him, her arms folded. “Thanks.” She paused. “I’m sorry to act so unprofessional. I’ve had a rough couple of days.”
“I’m the one who is sorry. The last thing I want to do is add to your troubles.” He swallowed the desire to assure her that he’d never hurt anyone, that she could walk away guilt-free. But he needed this. He couldn’t continue enduring decade after lonely decade. She was his salvation. “Why do you do this if it bothers you so much?”
“It’s my job.” She smiled, though her chin trembled. “It’s my responsibility to protect people from violent spirits. I could leave and get a normal career as a normal person, but if things in the exorcist community are going to change, I need to be there, pushing for that change. If I keep researching, writing new incantations, maybe I’ll find the best solution for both the living and the deceased.”
He touched her hand. “I’m sure you’ll succeed.”
“Thank you.” She stared at their hands for a moment, then met his gaze. “Would you like to get dinner?”
He blinked.