Freshman Year & Other Unnatural Disasters Read Online Free

try to say a swift good-bye to my parents and head over to the high school on my own. Fat chance—they follow right behind me. Thankfully, Em comes up at that exact moment and meets me by the side entrance like we planned. She looks as if she’s about to burst with excitement.
    “Oh my God, Kels, I’m so glad you’re here. You will never believe the news!” she gushes. I haven’t seen Em this excited since she told me about her first makeout session with James.
    “What’s going on? Tell me!”
    “Jemma. Bradley. Moved. To. Arizona. ”
    I just gape at her, disbelieving. Then we both forget to be extremely cool and age appropriate and start screeching and dancing around like lunatics. I just wish Cass and JoJo were with us to celebrate this glorious, glorious moment: Jemma Bradley is gone ! Gone to live in the Arizona desert with only a cactus as a friend. Maybe she’ll get chased by a pack of coyotes into some quicksand and never be heard from again!
    “Isn’t this amazing news?” Em shrieks. Even Em, who likes everybody, doesn’t like Jemma.
    “How did you find this out?” I demand.
    “My dad works with Jemma’s dad, you know, and my parents were talking about it at breakfast—I was going to call you but I wanted it to be a surprise.”
    This is unbelievable. Now we can all enjoy freshman year without wasting a single second worrying about accidentally pissing off an evil, blond-ringleted dictator with no sense of humor at all. Next thing you know, they’ll be serving birthday cake for lunch every day.
    Em and I grin at each other. “This is going to be the best year ever. I can feel it,” I say.
    “Me too!” Em agrees.
    Suddenly my mother invades our happy-dance circle and clutches my arm. “Kels, I need to speak with you privately before you go zipping off into your new life. How about that bench over there?”
    I immediately know that she is going to do something horrible, like kiss me in front of the free world or warn me about teenage pregnancy. Inevitably it will be something so embarrassing that I will have to throw myself down a well.
    I heave an enormous sigh, tell Em to go ahead without me, and sit on the bench with my mom for our chat. Behind us, kids are heading inside, taking pictures, laughing, and generally not having chats with their mothers.
    Mom takes my hand (seriously? In public?) and says, “You know, Kels, I really discovered myself in high school. Looking back, it was truly a crossroads between childhood and adulthood for me, and that’s very important. Now that you’re entering this phase of your life …”
    This is even worse than I anticipated. Bring on the “just in case” condom to carry in my backpack.
    “… I know it’s not easy to be fourteen, and I want you to know that I know. Okay?”
    “Um … sure, Mom.” What do I say to this? Thanks? “Thanks.”
    She looks at me and I look back. I can tell she’s about to do the thing where she silently beams at me for five minutes and then recounts the story of my birth—definitely no time for that today. I force a smile. “So … are we done? Because I don’t want to be late for homeroom, so …”
    “Okay, okay. Go in. But listen—I want you to be yourself. Let everyone know what a fabulous person you are and how much you have to offer. You really are terrific, you know that?”
    Well, now I feel a little bad for wanting to throw myself down a well. “Thanks, Mom. Really.” I smile for real this time.
    She takes a small box out of her pocket and hands it to me. I open it … and there’s a gift card to Urban Outfitters inside.
    Every once in a rare while, my mom can be pretty cool.
    “Mom, thanks! This is great!” I exclaim.
    “Use it for whatever you want. Oh—that reminds me, speaking of clothes …”
    I’m tucking the gift card into a pocket of my backpack when she pulls it out of the shopping bag: the scary red blazer that I purposely left on the chair in my room with the tags still on.
    “You