her?â
âSounds like youâre making judgments youâve got no business making.â
âYou made it my business when you sent me to tell her what you should have told her yourself. She should have been the first person you told.â
âSo what did she say?â
âWhat do you mean, what did she say? You think sheâs going to talk to me about you and her? She got on her bike and drove off. I followed her. When I finally caught up to her, she was furious.â
âShe isnât ready for this any more than I am.â
âNo, I donât suppose she is. But at least sheâs willing to face it.â
âItâs just . . .â His jaw worked up and down a few times. âIâll talk to her,â he finally said. âIâll make it right.â
âGood, because I canât do that for you.â
âBut if for some reason sheâs not ready . . .â
âTeddy canât put you up. Not with Tamara and the baby.â
âLeoââ Teddy began, then closed his mouth, realizing I was right.
I had an extra room at my place, which he possibly knew. But I didnât want him living with me. It would be too near, too fast. It was one thing getting to know my father again after years of believing the worst about him. It was quite another to share a bathroom. Iâd gotten used to living alone again after Teddy moved out.
He went on, his voice roughening. âThereâs guys out there who would still be in here if not for what I did for them. Put up bail, too, if youâre telling me you donât want to do that.â
âIâm not saying we donât want to do anything.â I flushed, suddenly wishing I were almost anywhere else, wishing I hadnât gotten into this. It demeaned all of us. I knew my brother would front the bail money in a second if asked, but Teddy had a family to worry about, and he couldnât be financially liable for Lawrenceâs bond.
He went on. âI know you pretty well, Leo, even though you and I havenât said two words to each other in twenty years. You worried Iâm going to run?â
He was behaving just as Dot had described him, taking the offensive rather than risking rejection. âThatâs not what Iâm telling you. Not at all.â
âIâve got people whoâll post any bond that judge will set. I donât need a handout.â
âThereâs this guy who owns one of the residence hotels in the city,â I said. âWho owed Teddy a favor, gave him a room for years rent-free. The Seward. If youâre on bail or parole with conditions, the judge may not approve it.â
âSee, he does care,â Lawrence said to Teddy. There was no mistaking the sarcasm.
âTake it easy on him, Pop,â Teddy said. âHe wants the best.â
âFor the record, I donât think you should stay at the Seward, or anywhere else. I think you should go home to Dot, if sheâll have you. Youâre engaged. What that means in this day and age is that you can live together. You donât have to wait to be invited. You can just ask her if itâs okay. She shouldnât have to beg.â
The meanness suddenly drained from Lawrenceâs face, and his head went down for a second. When he spoke, it was in a tone I hardly recognized. â Home . I donât even know what the wordâs supposed to mean.â
I didnât, either. âProbably, it means what you make of it.â
âSee, now, thatâs exactly what Iâm afraid of.â Hearing him say this, it occurred to me that perhaps his imprisonment was as necessary to his idea of togetherness as it had been to Dotâs, at least according to Teddyâs view of her. He went on. âI keep forgetting, youâre the one who found her body.â He looked up again. âI want you to know that I donât blame you for the way you felt about me, for