Fate Cannot Harm Me Read Online Free

impressed, easily carried away. And then, suppose that she were to fall in love, really in love, with a boy of her own age. Could you forgive yourself in that case, or could I forgive myself? Surely, surely, you ought to wait and let her taste freedom first. And then—I hate to say it, but is your life quite the life that she should be asked to share? You know that you have not exactly a reputation for—how shall I put it?—for constancy. You might change your own mind, and even if you did not … Isn’t a life without a real occupation and filled, I suppose, with pleasure, a little—well—a little empty for a young wife? I don’t want to preach, but you know I lived all my life among men who had work to do, and who made that their first concern. Somehow, I don’t feel that Cynthia would be happy in the long run if life was only a perpetual party.”
    â€œAren’t you a little ruthless, a little hard on me?”
    â€œOf course I’m ruthless; at my age one is, where those one loves are concerned. But oughtn’t you to be hard onyourself too? Please, please, give her her freedom a little longer. Don’t you feel yourself that I am right?”
    Strange that this fragile old lady should be stronger than I was! I looked at her with a sort of admiration.
    â€œBut how can I wait, seeing her day by day, and yet hiding what I feel? It isn’t possible; one day I shall tell her everything, because I must.”
    She gave a little sigh. I think she knew that she had won.
    â€œThen you must go away. I’m a sentimental old woman, and in the sort of books I read men go away and shoot big game for a year, and then come back to marry.”
    â€œYou haven’t anything personally against me, then?”
    â€œYou foolish man, of course I haven’t. If you were ten years younger and much less rich and at work at a real job I should say, ‘Ask her to-night.’ But as things are, I say this. Go away for a year, then come back and find some work to do, and then, if you still think as you do now, marry my Cynthia, and be very happy.”
    â€œBut if I do that I’m throwing up the sponge. Suppose some one else comes along and cuts me out?”
    â€œYou must trust me. I’ll write to you. It isn’t that I don’t want you to have your chance.”
    â€œBut it might be worse than that. Things happen so very quickly. Supposing—supposing she married some one else before I could come home; it takes time for letters to reach India or Africa or wherever it may be.”
    â€œAnd if it did, don’t you think that perhaps it might be right? If she does fall in love with some one of her own age, ought we to try to stop her? You want her to be happy as much as I do. But one thing I promise you faithfully. I will write to you, wherever you are, whenever it may be, if I fancy that she ever thinks seriously of marriage. You shan’t come back unwarned. I promise you that.”
    She held out her hand to me, and I grasped it. It was a token of her promise—and of my defeat.
    â€œWrite to the Older Universities Club,” I said, “that will always find me—in time.”
    From somewhere inside the house, the gong boomed, and she got up from her chair.
    â€œGive me your arm, please, Mr. Newton. Sometimes I feel my age. I’m very Victorian, I know, but I’m enough in the company of younger people to enjoy my cocktail before we go in to dinner.”
    I noticed on her lips the same pathetic yet almost affectionate smile. An indomitable woman, and how immeasurably stronger in will than I! I knew that I had been worsted, and persuaded against my judgement, and yet it was always fatally easy for me to follow rather than to lead. With a certainty that at once irritated my pride and yet calmed me, I knew that I should follow her advice; had I ever followed my own inclinations when they clashed with the advice of others? I had not