Everything I Know About Love I Learned From Romance Novels Read Online Free

going to say that isn’t a romance novel; it’s literature. But it’s both, and don’t we romance authors all wish that might be said of our work some day centuries hence?
    Loretta Chase
WHAT ROMANCE ARE YOU?
    Ever wondered which romance novel you would be, if you were a romance novel? Of course you have. Who hasn’t wondered which paperback subgenre they might be, on a metaphysical or psychological level? Duh.
    Anyway, your late-night ponderings are answered with this handy, and somewhat bizarre, chart. Once you’ve identified which type of romance novel you are, you’re only a few hundred thousand books away from knowing the secret to all mysteries, including why paranormal investigators wear four-inch heels and leather pants to work.
 
Regency
Western
Harlequin Presents
Contemporary
How do you like your steak?
Well done
Mooing
In a boardroom
Au poivre, cooked by hero
Who is your preferred dictator?
Napoleon
Stalin
Mussolini, the original
Castro “Italian Stallion”
How many pairs of black pants do you own?
0
1
1.75 million
What is your favorite dessert?
Pudding, in a trifle
Biscuits
Angel food cake
Crème brûlée
What is your favorite holiday?
Boxing Day
Independence Day
Boss’s Day
National Fruitcake Day (12/27)
Chick Lit
Erotica
Romantic Suspense
Paranormal
Historical
British
Hot, with béchamel cream sauce
Under indictment
Hairy
Medium rare
Lenin
Caligula
Kim Jong II
Mao
Franco
25
1 (if the pair in a pile on my floor counts?)
5
10. And they’re all leather. SQUEAK FREE leather.
Pants?
Fat-free ice cream sandwich
Whipped cream
Anything on fire
Ice cream truck
Melons
May Day
S&BJ Day (3/14)
Winter Solstice
All Saint’s Day (duh)
Talk Like a Pirate Day (9/17)

We Know Who We Are, and We Know Our Worth

AKA: SEEING YOURSELF IN A ROMANCE NOVEL IS NOT A BAD THING!
    Romance readers take a lot of heat for their love of the genre. It’s fluffy pornography, it’s fantasy-land, and it gives readers unrealistic expectations of real life—oh no!
    That right there is deep-fried hogwash. Romance readers are savvy people who can celebrate the fantastical elements of the genre—what, like every murder gets solved in real life like they do in mystery novels?—while recognizing themselves and familiar situations in each plot. Harlequin CEO Donna Hayes says that romances allow women to see pieces of themselves reflected in the books they read—and she’s right. We aren’t looking for mirrors of our entire lives, just bits of familiarity—which is why we can learn so much from them. Those pieces of familiarity can be very illuminating.
    As a rule, the heroine is usually the focus of a romance, but it’s not just all about her. It used to be that the hero would show up at some point and be present in a few key scenes, notably marked as “the hero” by the number of times the heroine would notice him, and how amazingly handsome/smart/dangerous/all-of-the-above he seemed. Nowadays, romance novels, as defined by what’s currently popular—and romance is popular, to the tune of over a billion dollars annually, according to the Romance Writers of America—feature the stories of both the hero and the heroine as equally important.
    So what does that mean for romance readers? Well, for starters, we read a lot of romance, and we meet a lot of heroes and heroines. We’re reading narratives about a woman’s self-fulfillment and her own achievement of happiness, whether that’s beating the bad guy or finding her way back from a trauma, and we’re experiencing the repeated discovery of someone who not only fought for that happiness but realized that she was worth that struggle.
    In short, romances teach readers that we should know ourselves, and value ourselves, in order to find happiness. Romance readers experience the repeated discovery of someone who not only fought for her happiness, but realized that she was worth the struggle. That’s the first lesson of romance novels, really: romance is found in how we treat