calm enough to complete the paddle to shore. Butch’s thoughts didn’t make his feelings of fear and terror disappear, but they did keep his emotions from hijacking his behavior.
Since our brains are wired to make us emotional creatures, your first reaction to an event is always going to be an emotional one. You have no control over this part of the process. You do control the thoughts that follow an emotion, and you have a great deal of say in how you react to an emotion—as long as you are aware of it. Some experiences produce emotions that you are easily aware of; other times, emotions may seem nonexistent. When something generates a prolonged emotional reaction in you, it’s called a “trigger event.” Your reaction to your triggers is shaped by your personal history, which includes your experience with similar situations. As your EQ skills grow, you’ll learn to spot your triggers and practice productive ways of responding that will become habitual.
Sizing Up the Whole Person
Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.
Emotional intelligence taps into a fundamental element of human behavior that is distinct from your intellect. There is no known connection between IQ and EQ; you simply can’t predict EQ based on how smart someone is. Cognitive intelligence, or IQ, is not flexible. Your IQ, short of a traumatic event such as a brain injury, is fixed from birth. You don’t get smarter by learning new facts or information. Intelligence is your ability to learn, and it’s the same at age 15 as it is at age 50. EQ, on the other hand, is a flexible skill that can be learned. While it is true that some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others, a high EQ can be developed even if you aren’t born with it.
Personality is the final piece in the puzzle. It’s the stable “style” that defines each of us. Your personality is a result of your preferences, such as your inclination to introversion or extroversion. However, like IQ, personality can’t be used to predict emotional intelligence. Also like IQ, personality is stable over a lifetime. Personality traits appear early in life, and they don’t go away. People often assume that certain traits (for example, extroversion) are associated with a higher EQ, but those who prefer to be with other people are no more emotionally intelligent than people who prefer to be alone. You can use your personality to assist in developing your EQ, but the latter isn’t dependent on the former. EQ is a flexible skill, while personality does not change. IQ, EQ, and personality assessed together are the best way to get a picture of the whole person. When you measure all three in a single individual, they don’t overlap much. Instead, each covers unique ground that helps to explain what makes a person tick.
IQ, personality, and EQ are distinct qualities we all possess. Together, they determine how we think and act. It is impossible to predict one based upon another. People may be intelligent but not emotionally intelligent, and people of all types of personalities can be high in EQ and/or IQ. Of the three, EQ is the only quality that is flexible and able to change.
The Impact of EQ
EQ is the foundation for a host of critical skills. A little effort spent on increasingyour EQ tends to have a wide-ranging, positive impact on your life.
How much of an impact does EQ have on your professional success? The short answer is: a lot! It’s a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous result. We’ve tested EQ alongside 33 other important workplace