Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder Read Online Free Page B

procession, mumbling quietly in anticipation. He watched them fight for a chance to plug the openings of the other fountains with their fingers so that only one, powerful stream of water was left, shooting almost ten feet into the air. Nilly felt himself being lifted up and could feel the cold gust of air next to the stream of water. People started cheering.
    â€œWe christen you … ,” said the guy holding Nilly’s legs.
    â€œFlame Head the Pygmy,” the other said.
    â€œNice one, dude!” the first one yelled. “Guess we’d better put out his flame!”
    The boys laughed so hard, it made Nilly shake up and down. Then they held him over the fountain of water, which shot Nilly right in the face, hitting his nose and mouth. He couldn’t breathe, and for a second he thought he was going to drown, but then the hands lifted him up out of the stream. Nilly looked around, at all the children near the drinking fountains and at Lisa, who was still standing by herself at the edge of the playground.
    â€œMore, more!” the kids yelled. Nilly sighed and took a deep breath. Then they dunked him down into the water again.
    Nilly didn’t put up any opposition and didn’t say a word. He just closed his eyes and mouth. He tried to imagine he was sitting at the front of his grandfather’s motorboat with his head hanging out over the side, so the sea spray hit him in the face. Nice.
    When the boys were done, they set Nilly down again and went on their way. Nilly’s wet red hair stuck to his head, and his shoes squished. The other kids crowded around and watched, laughing at him, while Nilly pulled his T-shirt up from between the suspenders.

    â€œWeak drinking fountains you guys have here,” he said loudly.
    It got quiet around him. Nilly dried his face. “At Trafalgar Square in London they have a drinking fountain that shoots thirty feet straight up,” he said. “A friend of mine tried to drink from it. The water knocked out two molars and he swallowed his own braces. We saw an Italian guy get his wig knocked off when he went to take a drink.”
    Nilly paused dramatically as he rang out his wet T-shirt. “True, some people said it wasn’t a wig, that it was the Italian guy’s own hair that had been pulled right out. I decided to try sitting on the fountain.” Nilly leaned to the side to get the water out of his ear.
    Finally one of the kids asked, “What happened?”
    â€œWell,” Nilly said, holding his nose and blowinghard, first through one nostril and then the other.
    â€œWhat did he say?” one of the kids who was standing farther back asked. The ones who were standing in front said, “Shhh!”
    â€œFrom up where I was sitting, I could see all the way to France, which was more than five hundred miles away,” Nilly said, shaking his bangs and sending out a spray of water. “That may sound like an exaggeration,” he said, pulling a comb out of his back pocket and running it through his hair. “But you have to remember that it was an unusually clear day and that that part of Europe is extremely flat.”
    Then Nilly plowed his way through the crowd of kids and walked over to Lisa at the edge of the playground.
    â€œWell,” she said with a little smile. “What do you think of our school so far?”
    â€œNot so bad,” he said. “No one’s called me Silly Nilly yet.”
    â€œThose two were Truls and Trym,” Lisa said. “They’re twins and, unfortunately, they live on Cannon Avenue.”
    Nilly shrugged. “Truls and Trym live everywhere.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?” Lisa asked.
    â€œEvery street has Trulses and Tryms. You can’t get away from them, no matter where you move,” Nilly explained.
    Lisa thought about it. Could there be Trulses and Tryms in Sarpsborg, too?
    â€œDid you find a new best friend yet?” Nilly asked.
    Lisa shook her