Didn't My Skin Used to Fit? Read Online Free
Author: Martha Bolton
Tags: Humor, Ebook, Humor & Entertainment, Spirituality, Religion & Spirituality, book, Inspirational
answer.
It seems the sun, nature’s usual tanning device, does a good job of browning our skin, but it also tends to age it. Harmful sunrays can damage skin so much that instead of our looking younger we actually end up looking older.
The commercial said tanning beds can be harmful to our skin, as well. They didn’t have to spend too much airtime talking me out of that. I don’t think I’d ever resort to a tanning bed. I’d feel too much like a croissant going into an oven, and since I know all too well what happens to croissants in my oven, I know I’m better off passing on that.
So what’s the answer? Well, according to this advertisement, the answer is simple—their instant tanning cream, at $39.95 a month for three months. That’s a lot of money, but I’m tempted to order it anyway.
My natural skin tone has always been Clown White, and it’d be fun to have some color for a change. (I’m on the list for a tan transplant, but so far there haven’t been any donors.)
So I suppose an instant tanning cream is the only way to go. I just hope they’ve improved since the days when I was a teenager. I tried one back then and it turned my skin a beautiful shade of Tang orange. I don’t think I want to be orange again. It really isn’t my color.
But the ad said their instant tanning cream wouldn’t do that. In fact, not only did it make those swimsuit-clad fifty-year-old men and women look younger, it also gave them the energy to play a round of beach volleyball. That’s some tanning cream!
And while we’re on the subject of swimsuits, why doesn’t someone make a style that those of us over forty would actually wear? I for one don’t like pleats. My skin already has enough pleats; why would I want them in my beachwear? I don’t like plunging necklines, either. Enough of me is plunging on its own. And who told anyone that black is the favorite color of those over forty? Our skin might not fit anymore but we’re not in mourning over it.
But first things first. No matter what kind of swimsuit I wear, I still need a tan, so I’ve decided to go ahead and order the tanning cream. And if it doesn’t work this time, and I still turn orange, well, I guess that’s okay. I live in Tennessee, and orange is one of the colors of the Tennessee State University football team!
Go, Vols!
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
—2 Corinthians 4:16, NIV
10
InfomercialParadise
Some say the older you get the less sleep you need. At fifty, you might be getting by on only six or seven hours of sleep. By the time you reach sixty, four or five hours may be all you need. Get to seventy, and not only are you staying awake at night watching every infomercial on television, you’re probably squeezing in a 3:00 A.M. trip to the twenty-four-hour Wal-Mart, too.
One reason we require less sleep as we grow older could be all the naps we take throughout the day. I’m not talking about those after-lunch comas that hit people of all ages. I’m talking about that uncontrollable dozing off that seems to hit middle-aged people without warning. It’s that overwhelming urge to get in a few winks, whether you’re having a root canal, talking on the telephone, or running for a bus.
My husband takes a lot of naps. He can sleep virtually anywhere, but his lounging areas of choice are the sofa, the easy chair, the car, the floor, the pew, airline seats, the desk at business meetings, and once in a while, the bed. He can get by on a twenty-minute nap here, a thirty-minute nap there, and only four or five hours of sleep at night.
Another reason we sleep less as we grow older is because we know the party’s almost over and we don’t want to miss out on a single thing. It’s the same reason football fans stay at the game until the very end, even when their team’s losing 49–0. It’s why people don’t sleep through the last fifteen minutes of a good
It seems the sun, nature’s usual tanning device, does a good job of browning our skin, but it also tends to age it. Harmful sunrays can damage skin so much that instead of our looking younger we actually end up looking older.
The commercial said tanning beds can be harmful to our skin, as well. They didn’t have to spend too much airtime talking me out of that. I don’t think I’d ever resort to a tanning bed. I’d feel too much like a croissant going into an oven, and since I know all too well what happens to croissants in my oven, I know I’m better off passing on that.
So what’s the answer? Well, according to this advertisement, the answer is simple—their instant tanning cream, at $39.95 a month for three months. That’s a lot of money, but I’m tempted to order it anyway.
My natural skin tone has always been Clown White, and it’d be fun to have some color for a change. (I’m on the list for a tan transplant, but so far there haven’t been any donors.)
So I suppose an instant tanning cream is the only way to go. I just hope they’ve improved since the days when I was a teenager. I tried one back then and it turned my skin a beautiful shade of Tang orange. I don’t think I want to be orange again. It really isn’t my color.
But the ad said their instant tanning cream wouldn’t do that. In fact, not only did it make those swimsuit-clad fifty-year-old men and women look younger, it also gave them the energy to play a round of beach volleyball. That’s some tanning cream!
And while we’re on the subject of swimsuits, why doesn’t someone make a style that those of us over forty would actually wear? I for one don’t like pleats. My skin already has enough pleats; why would I want them in my beachwear? I don’t like plunging necklines, either. Enough of me is plunging on its own. And who told anyone that black is the favorite color of those over forty? Our skin might not fit anymore but we’re not in mourning over it.
But first things first. No matter what kind of swimsuit I wear, I still need a tan, so I’ve decided to go ahead and order the tanning cream. And if it doesn’t work this time, and I still turn orange, well, I guess that’s okay. I live in Tennessee, and orange is one of the colors of the Tennessee State University football team!
Go, Vols!
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
—2 Corinthians 4:16, NIV
10
InfomercialParadise
Some say the older you get the less sleep you need. At fifty, you might be getting by on only six or seven hours of sleep. By the time you reach sixty, four or five hours may be all you need. Get to seventy, and not only are you staying awake at night watching every infomercial on television, you’re probably squeezing in a 3:00 A.M. trip to the twenty-four-hour Wal-Mart, too.
One reason we require less sleep as we grow older could be all the naps we take throughout the day. I’m not talking about those after-lunch comas that hit people of all ages. I’m talking about that uncontrollable dozing off that seems to hit middle-aged people without warning. It’s that overwhelming urge to get in a few winks, whether you’re having a root canal, talking on the telephone, or running for a bus.
My husband takes a lot of naps. He can sleep virtually anywhere, but his lounging areas of choice are the sofa, the easy chair, the car, the floor, the pew, airline seats, the desk at business meetings, and once in a while, the bed. He can get by on a twenty-minute nap here, a thirty-minute nap there, and only four or five hours of sleep at night.
Another reason we sleep less as we grow older is because we know the party’s almost over and we don’t want to miss out on a single thing. It’s the same reason football fans stay at the game until the very end, even when their team’s losing 49–0. It’s why people don’t sleep through the last fifteen minutes of a good
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