Diary of a Wimpy Vampire Read Online Free Page A

vampire. It’s the least they can do really. I know they can afford it, so they have no reason to refuse me other than spite. Based on observations I’ve made of older boys, I’ve decided that Chloe would be more likely to go out with me if I had a car.
    7 PM
    My parents won’t buy me a car, as they say I don’t look old enough to drive it and it will draw too much attention to us. I even offered to wear a false beard every time I drive, but they still refused.

    I told them that I don’t care what they think because they’re not my real parents anyway, and then ran up to my room and slammed the door.
    It’s so unfair. My sister gets absolutely everything she wants, but they refuse me simple requests like this.
    12 AM
    I spent tonight feeling really angry with my parents for refusing to buy me a car, but I’ve calmed down now. I know I get annoyed with them, but I should at least be grateful that I’m not one of those vampires with parents who are younger than them.* Then it would be really annoying if they were strict with you.
    *This might sound impossible, but it’s quite simple really. Imagine if my dad had been born as a human a few years later than me, but not transformed into a vampire until he was in his thirties or forties. To the eyes of a human he would look older than me, but I would know he was younger. And ignore everything he said.

T UESDAY 1 ST F EBRUARY
    10 AM
    I looked in the bathroom mirror this morning and noticed that my spots have got worse. Sometimes I wish vampires really couldn’t see their reflections.
    1 PM
    Chloe was upset today when the girls from the popular gang wouldn’t let her sit on their table because she reported them for talking in assembly. I agreed that they were being completely unfair, as she was only doing her duty as a prefect.
    We then had a good chat about a ghost-hunting show that was on TV last night. They had some actors from a soap opera staying in an old country house and it filmed them listening to strange noises. Chloe thought it was fake and I agreed with her.
    I can remember getting scared of ghosts when I was at school in the fifties. We used to think that one of the corridors was haunted by a pupil who drowned, and we would always run down it so he couldn’t get us. Looking back, it was a bit hypocritical of me to be so scared of a supernatural entity despite being one myself, but I was much more easily swayed back then.
    5 PM
    I sat with Craig and Wayne in Maths but it was really boring as they kept going on about how low cut Mrs Thomson’s top was. They were talking like they were experienced international playboys rather than spotty adolescents from a small town. I found it difficult to care about the subject, as all tops seem low cut to me if you can see a girl’s neck. Unless a girl is wearing a polo neck, I regard her as provocatively dressed.
    It’s PE again tomorrow. I can’t face another lesson with that idiot Mr Jenkins so I’m going to ask Dad for a note to get me out of it. I’ll get him to write that I’ve got a bad back, and that I can’t do it for three months.
    W EDNESDAY 2 ND F EBRUARY
    At first Dad refused to give me a note to get out of PE. He said it was the best lesson in school, and I should be looking forward to it. That’s easy for him to say, with his vampire strength and speed. PE might well be fun if you can run a marathon in five minutes and leap over hurdles as if they were paperclips. I can’t even do a forward roll!
    In the end he agreed to write the note, but still managed to make it embarrassing. He went off into his study and wrote on ancient parchment with a quill. That might have been acceptable in the seventeenth century, but it isn’t now. I wish he would make at least some effort to get with the times.

    Mr Jenkins almost had a heart attack when I gave him the note, but he accepted it nonetheless, and I enjoyed a blissful PE-free afternoon in the library.
    T HURSDAY 3 RD F EBRUARY
    We had a Science test